…SSBM GAMESHOWS!
by joebthegreat
Summary: blah blah blah you've seen it all before right... WRONG! ok maybe... hmm... oh whatever the Smashers go through many game shows in the kind of humor you expect from me... sick
1. WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIETTE!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 1! WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIETTE!**

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Its all James Bond! GO KILL HIM INSTEAD!

Reviews:

I GOT NONE LAST CHAPTER!

GOLD STARS:

I don't feel like giving ANY away because no one reviewed me last chapter!

REEL BIG FISH!

Oh I like this one… not to mention I'm sick of the Advertisement fic… but don't worry I will still update it for you weirdoes… maybe… depending on what happened from the point of me writing this to the point of me submitting this.

* * *

"WELCOME!" Master Hand yelled as lasers and crap flew everywhere in a flashy intro… then one of the lasers got Popo in the eye killing him instantly. Nana looked at her dead partner and disappeared in a cloud of smoke causing Roy to start wheezing and fall over and puke out blood.

"WELL NOW THAT 2 OF OUR CONTESTANTS ARE GONE! LETS SEE WHO THE OTHER 6 ARE!"

Kirby stood up but no one seemed to notice due to how short he is.

Then Sheik stood up and waved to everyone…

"HES A GUY!" one moron pointed out.

"YEA MAYBE HES ZELDA'S BROTHER!" another moron yelled but then they were silenced by Sheiks needles.

Peach stood up and forgot what she was supposed to do next and just sat there staring blankly. Suddenly she was shocked and forced to sit down.

C. Falcon stood up and tried to do a back flip but failed and cracked his head against the computer he was next to and fell over in a bloody mess.

"MAKE THAT 5 CONTESTANTS!"

DK stood up and beat his chest.

Yoshi stood up and waved to all the screaming fans… who then stopped screaming because the nails shoved up their asses were taken out.

"NOW LETS PLAY WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIETTE! The goal is to get to milliette… after a sequence of questions… a milliette is someone with 999,999 duplicates of themselves…"

"Kirby and Yoshi looked up"

"BUT WE ALREADY HAVE DUPLICATES OF US!" they cried together due to much practice off stage.

"YES BUT NOW YOU WILL HAVE MORE!" Master Hand yelled and started the show.

"FIRST UP IS THE FAST FINGERS MODE! WHOEVER GUESSES THEM ALL FIRST WINS!" Suddenly Master Hands voice got more serious. "Name the gaming systems in the order in which they were released! A… Atari, B… SNES, C… N64, D… GCN!"

Kirby tried to eat the computer and fell over after turning black and started to twitch.

Sheik pressed the buttons so fast her hand melted she started screaming.

"HEY WHY DOES HE HAVE A GIRLS VOICE!" a moron yelled.

Peach just sat there staring blankly as Toad came out of her pocket and pressed the correct answers.

DK tried to press the buttons but his fingers were too big and he pressed them all at once.

Yoshi tried to eat the computer but his tongue got stuck to it and was ripped off… blood spewed out and his fans all cheered… then screamed as the nails were reinserted.

"LETS SEE THE RESULTS!" a large screen popped up and showed the contestants.

"OH KIRBY AND YOSHI ARE DISQUALIFIED DUE TO DEATH!… PEACH CHEATED!"

Peaches chair gave way and she fell to her black doom… then the teen girl squad walked up.

"WHEN YOU FALL IN A BOTTEMLESS PIT! YOU STARVE TO DEATH!" So and so said. Then they were all pushed in by Master Hand.

"DK DID IT THE FASTEST!" Master Hand yelled, "HE DID IT IN 0.253 SECONDS COMPARED TO SHEIKS 0.294 SECONDS!"

DK looked confused and walked up to the center… Sheik started crying.

"OK DK! ARE YOU READY TO GO FOR THE 100 ette QUESTION!" Master hand yelled.

"UM… OK!"

Master Hand suddenly turned serious "in the game 'DONKEY KONG' what was the name of the villain?… and what was he?"

DK started scratching his head… then looked around…

"UM… MARIO? AND HE WAS ITALIAN!"

"OH SO SORRY DK! IT WAS MARIO! BUT HE WAS… A PLUMBER!"

DK just looked at Master Hand sadly.

"THEY'RE THE SAME THING! THEY BOTH DO STRANGE THINGS WITH SOAP!"

"OH SO SORRY! BYE!" and with this Master Hand slapped DK off stage as DK flew off he was caught by Crazy Hand and eaten.

"YOU DON'T EAT THEM CRAZY! YOU LET THEM GO!"

"But I was hungry…"

"OH FINE! BUT NO MORE!"

"OK NOW FOR ANOTHER FAST FINGERS ROUND!"

Everyone sat there for a few seconds and then Sheik just walked up to the center.

"OK SHEIK! ARE YOU READY FOR THE 100 ette QUESTION!"

Sheik looked around at all the morons… and screaming fans… then nodded.

"IN THE LEGEND OF ZELDA! A LINK TO THE PAST! WHO IS THE PRINCESS YOU ARE TRYING TO RESCUE!"

"Zelda" Sheik stated… "and aren't you supposed to give us 4 different answers… and lifelines… and all that fun stuff"

"OH I WISH! BUT WE MESSED UP AND SO THE 100 ette QUESTION DIDN'T GET THOSE! DO YOU WANT TO HEAR YOUR LIFELINES!"

"No no I know"

"YAY!" all the morons yelled. "YOU TELL HIM YOU ODDLY FLEXIBLE MAN!"

"QUESTION 200 ette! WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE GAME WHERE DONKEY KONG IS CAPTURED AND DIDDY AND DIXIE GO ON A QUEST TO SAVE HIM! IS IT! A… Donkey Kong 2, B… Diptydooda, C… Kirby superstar, D… SSBM!"

"Donkey Kong 2" Sheik said and millions of morons looked in shock not knowing what that could have been.

"YAY! WILL YOU QUIT OR GO ON!" Master Hand yelled.

"I'll go on"

"QUESTION 500 ette! WHAT IS THE STAGE ON SSBM WHICH HAS KRAID SPINNING THE LEVEL AROUND IN CIRCLES! IS IT! A… that one with the weird dude in the background that spins, B… Brinstar Depths, C… the cool one, D… Flat zone!"

"Umm can I use a lifeline?" Sheik asked.

"OF COURSE! DO YOU WANT… think long… read a book that has nothing to do with the subject… or phone the dead?"

"What? What kind of lifelines are those!" Sheik screamed.

"OUR LIFELINES!"

"I'll phone the dead…" Sheik said and a phone ringing started… and it rang… and its ringing… we get tired…

"I'M SORRY BUT NO ONES ON THE OTHER LINE! YOU LOSE THE LIFELINE!"

Sheik sits there… then decides to guess.

"Umm… Brinstar Depths?" Sheik said confused.

"WRONG! IT WAS… THAT ONE WITH THE WEIRD DUDE IN THE BACKGROUND THAT SPINS!"

Sheik was launched off but Crazy Hand missed her and she splattered into the wall.

"NO! NOW WHO WILL ZELDA TELL ALL HER SECRETS TO!" a moron yelled but then as Master Hand had no more need of a crowd he killed them all.

"TUNE IN NEXT TIME AND WE MIGHT DO SOMETHING YOU CARE ABOUT!" Master Hand yelled and the screen fades away.

* * *

YAY!

I know its been done TONS of times before… but the beauty is that I have never read one as purely random as this one… WOOT!

I have a nice list of game shows to parody so no need to worry… or you could worry… see what I care…

Suggestions are always nice although I wont do them right away due to the list method I do things in…

OH BOY!

What!

I KILLED NEMO!

What?

NOTHING!

Ok whatever…

R&SSR Read and Say Something Retarded…


	2. WEAKEST LINK!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 2! WEAKEST LINK!**

Disclaimer: ok, ok, look I don't own that pizza… BUT I STILL WILL EAT IT!

Reviews: YAY! REVIEWS!

Hmm where to start… how about the beginning…

**SOME ANIME FREAK**: ok then… don't worry I reincarnate my dead dudes so we don't end up running out of material… actually I should just tell everyone that… AND CRACK IS BAD!… I would prefer the term COKE!

**Tikitikivoodoohickey**: STD! BJ! Ok that's enough for now… AND THE VILLAIN IN DONKEY KONG WAS MARIO!

**Some Pilot I don't care about**: now, now, now… wait in line! Survivor is on my list… but it shall not be next… be patient my non-son… we shall conquer something together.

**A FAKE PRINCESS!**: YAY! We all love teen girl squad! Because they end up dieing in freaky ways… now if they would update that as fast as I update!… well the world isn't perfect… that's why there's Wallgreens… oh and back flips pwn so you can just SHUT UP!

Some other freak reviewed me but I cant SEE IT! Well I will see it soon… I hope it's a flam… those are always… interesting

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

Anime freak looses 2 cause Anime freaks always get on my nerves (then why do you join the stupid anime clubs at school you moron!)… then again anti-Anime freaks annoy me (you are an anti-Anime freak!) so you can only loose 1...

Tikitikirevenge will lose 2 cause he thinks he is better than everyone… and he didn't throw in enough acronyms at me…

vicviper-pilot-S213 can gain 1 cause you are crazed about blood and gore!

The Princess of Daisies will gain 2 cause she likes teen girl squad… YAY!

Gee… I really didn't know the peeps of fanfiction liked parodies SO MUCH!… well actually I did… actually I LOVE parodies… some peeps seem to get offended when you parody something they like… I parody stuff I like all the time! Well then again I slap myself all the time too…

REEL BIG FISH! (that is my code name for STICK A LINE HERE!)

* * *

"WELCOME TO THE WEAKEST LINK! I'M CRAZY HAND! I'M CRAZY! THAT MAKES ME FUNNEY! THAT MEANS I MAKE YOU LAUGH! DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE LAUGHING! LAUGH! AH AREN'T I FUNNEY! YES I AM! BUT SCREW THAT LETS WATCH THE SHOW! OH WAIT I'M THE HOST! HAHA! LAUGH! I'M CREUL WHICH YOU WILL SEE IN A SECOND! AND THAT MAKES YOU LAUGH!"

Everyone just looked at Crazy Hand wide eyed… then the music played and lasers flew everywhere… it singed Marth's hair but everyone was okay… wait… no Marth was not okay as he screamed and exploded.

"LETS MEET OUT 6... 5 CONTESTANTS!" Crazy Hand yelled and Link stood up first.

"Link works as a 'the hero of time'… his hobbies are Zelda… Zelda… and Zelda… he is haunted by his younger self…" Master Hands voice came through some weird speaker and everyone in the audience didn't care… then cared when they were glued together… just because I feel like they should be.

Then Y. Link stood up.

"Y. Link works as a 'stalker' his hobbies are Link… Link… Link… Link… and Link… he enjoys short walks to the refrigerator and Link-watching" Master Hand said… which we all know by now so I will shut up.

Then Zelda stood up.

"Zelda works as a 'whiney little bitch' her hobbies are crying… transformation… and getting stolen… she wants knowledge too much and usually kills professors for their secrets"

Then Gannondorf stood up.

"Gannondorf works as a 'villain/kidnapper' his hobbies are Zelda… Link… Zelda… and Link… he has failed capturing Zelda many times"

Then Samus stood up.

"Samus works as a 'Bounty Hunter' her hobbies are loosing stuff… finding stuff… and jumping… she doesn't have a clue what she is doing here"

"I WOULD TELL YOU THE RULES BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW! NOT TO MENTION I'M LAZY/CRAZY SO I DON'T WANNA SAY!… LETS START ROUND ONE!"

Flashy lights flew around and then Crazy Hand spoke up again.

"GANNONDORF! YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK!"

"HEY! I RESENT BEING CALLED 'LINK'! YOU MEANIE!" Gannondorf yelled and gets thrown away.

Gannondorf appeared in a room… it looked like a padded cell.

"I hope Zelda gets voted off… then we will be all alone together!" He yells with his fist in the air… but then the room started closing around him… he screamed and was then crushed.

"LETS START ROUND 3!" Crazy hand yells. "OH AND Y. LINK! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU LOOK LIKE A GAY ELF!"

"I'M NOT AN ELF!" Y. Link screamed but suddenly the morons in the crowd jumped out.

"YOU ARE A GAY ELF! THAT'S WHY YOU WEAR A DRESS AND HAVE POINTY EARS!"

"Umm… I wear a TUNIC! And I am HYLIAN!" Y. Link yelled to the crowd.

"HAHA! IM FUNNEY! I STARTED AN ARGUMENT! LETS SEE WHO IS THE WEAKEST LINK!"

Flashy lights flew everywhere and then serious music began.

"Y. Link! Where did Link grow up as a child?" Crazy Hand asked.

"Umm the Lost Woods?" Y. Link said.

"CORRECT! Link! If ab and bc… what would the square root of the radius of a circle 82 feet in diameter be… in centimeters…?"

Link had an extremely confused look on his face… then just threw a wild answer out…

"756!" He screamed.

"WRONG! Zelda! What is the name of the prequel to SSBM?"

"SSB?" Zelda said confused.

"CORRECT! Samus! How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"

Samus looked it up on her HUD and got 27.

"27!" she screamed.

"CORRECT! Y. Link!"

"BANK!" Y. Link screamed.

"CORRECT! Link!"

"BANK!" Link yelled.

"OK FINE! Link! What is the area of a 13 sided figure when 7 are 8 feet… 5 are 3 feet… and one is pi?"

"314!" Link screamed desperate.

"WRONG! Zelda!"

"BANK!" she yelled.

"YOU CANT! Zelda! Why can't you bank?"

"CAUSE YOU ARE A MEANIE!"

"CORRECT! Samus! Who is I?"

"I" Samus said.

"Correct… OH AND WE ARE OUT OF TIME!" Crazy hand screamed and lasers flew around with stupid music.

"VOTE YA HOES!"

"This games Weakest link was Link… guessing none correct… the strongest link was Samus… getting an actual hard question right" Master Hand said as everyone could hear him.

"OH CRAP! IS THIS THING ON! Oh whatever…" Master Hand said.

"HEY! I GOY HARD QUESTIONS!" Link yelled up at the air.

"SHUT UP! OK! NOW LETS COUNT VOTES! GO!"

Y. Link's turned up Samus.

Link's turned up Y. Link.

Zelda's turned up Samus.

Samus's turned up Y. Link.

"OH THIS IS GOOD! IT'S A TIE! OH!" Crazy Hand screamed flopping all over the floor. "OK! Now why Samus, Y. Link?"

"BECAUSE SHE ISNT PART OF OUR GAME!" Y. Link screamed.

"WOW! Why Y. Link, Link?"

"BECAUSE THAT PRICK STALKS ME!"

"WOW! Why Samus, Zelda?"

"Because I think Link is sexy"

"WOW! Why Y. Link, Samus?"

"Because he creeps me out…"

"WELL THAT'S COOL! HAHAHA COOL IS COOL! HAHAHA OH YOU MUST LAUGH! OK THEN SAMUS IN HER ALL TOMBOY FURRY MUST CHOOSE WHO NEEDS TO LEAVE! BECAUSE SHE WAS THE ACTUAL WEAKEST LINK!"

"Oh wow… I have to say Y. Link" Samus said and Y. Link was flung off.

"AND SINCE HE IS LINKS YOUNGER SELF! LINK MUST GO TOO!"

Then Link was launched away.

They both appeared in a padded room.

"I WANT SAMUS TO GO! THEN ZELDA WILL WIN AND FEEL HAPPY AND 'LIKE' ME!" Link yelled.

"WELL I WANT ZELDA TO LOOSE! THAT WAY WE CAN BE ALL ALONE WITH HER!" Y. Link yelled.

But as they argued the room crushed them.

"WOW! WELL NOW ITS TIME FOR THE LAST WHATEVER WE DO! SO LETS START!"

Lasers flashed around everywhere when Samus got hit by one… her suit malfunctioned and she exploded.

"WOW! ZELDA IS! THE WEAKEST LINK!" Crazy Hand yelled and shook her hand… but that just injured Zelda badly… then she died of blood loss.

"Hmm… I always wondered why she was so pale…" Crazy Hand said and then killed the audience and laughed crazily.

* * *

YAY!

That's a long one… but I like it…

But if I didn't like my own work I'd be even weirder and more un-normal than I already am…

But oh well…

Blah, blah, blah, I hate that…

Next just so you know… is Fear Factor… YAY!

Survivor is down on the list… so basically if this lasts long enough I will do that.

SO R&GAC… Read and Give a Crud!


	3. FEAR FACTOR!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 3! Fear Factor!**

Disclaimer: hmm I don't own Fear Factor… I don't own… AYNTHING! Well seriously I don't even own some of these jokes… oh well

Reviews: PEOPLE CARE ABOUT ME!

Lets see… why do I care… oh well…

**SOME ANIME FREAK**: Oh dear… PLEASE DON'T SMASH THE SMASHERS! Oh well… see what I care… and if you wanna smash anyone smash my dad… he might stop me from getting updates fast… but we are yet to see if he does…

**Eternal Smasher**: I promise I will F#$ it up pretty good… when I get to it… its on the list though so no worries

**A FAKE PRINCESS!**: YAY! Ok then you seem to be a bit crazed about wannabies and posers… oh well lets see here… THANKS! Crazy Hand is always the craziest I can make him… which means he is just like me in school… making all the idiots who dance around saying weird is cool get away from me because I'm too weird… YAY!

**PKMN7HAKU123**: I swear you have the hardest name to remember… ARG! Oh well who's line is on the list and its CLOSE! 2 updates away… not counting this one… oh well YAY!

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

Anime freak gains 2 cause she likes GORILLAZ! YAY!

Princess BLEH gets 2 cause she likes N64... YAY!

Smasher dude can have 3 cause CELEBRITY INTERVIEWS PWNS YOU ALL!

PKEN2DJFK123 can have 1 cause I'm feeling nice today… and who's line is awesome…

Hmm… the sad fact is that I am tired… and mad… and ARG! I will write a book when I grow up… I will dedicate it to the pricks of my neighborhood… DEATH TO YOU ALL!

REEL BIG FISH! (listen to them… NOW!)

* * *

"WELCOME TO FEAR FACTOR!" Master Hand yelled waiving to all 6 contestants… "I WOULD TELL YOU WHAT WE ARE DOING TODAY BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT! SO LETS INTRODUCE THE CONTESTANTS!"

The camera went to Marth who was busy picking his nose… then he noticed all eyes were on him and screamed and ran off…

"I always believed that girls were girls… and yea… I think that thinking has certain things to think about… I hope I win the $100,000 prize… then I can make myself look even more pretty… people say im more mature than Roy… so I like to rub it in his face… he always tells me to get a life outside of hair but… WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE OUT OF TI…" Marth was in front of a camera introducing himself.

The camera went to Roy next who had on a fake grin and was overly optimistic.

"Is this on? Ok… SHUT UP MARTH! Oh alright I think that girls like me… but I prefer to do and not think… so instead of thinking about people I do them! Well… ok so I have AIDS… full blown AIDS… but I usually don't tell anyone… THIS IS GOING ON THE AIR! Oh well thanks a lot for ruining my chances for tonight… I don't know how to be romantic so I usually just whip my sword out and rape the chick… is that wrong? Is this M rated? No? well it should be… I…"

Popo was next and he just waived.

"What do you mean where's Nana? Do you really think she follows me ANYWHERE! She got scared cause she thought we'd die… what a moron! Oh well I can do things for myself! I DON'T NEED HER! Oh crap I forgot what I was gonna say… oh um… well… I like snow… that's why we moved to the mountains… all our friends are dead though… apparently its not healthy to stick people into trunks…"

Mario came on next.

"I am REALLY sick of saving that Peach… SERIOUSLY! Why cant she just stop walking into Bowser… I wasn't supposed to tell anyone but… she actually makes Bowser capture her… just to make me prove how devoted I am to her… WHAT IS HER PROBLEM! I hope I win this $100,000 so I can hire a new princess to want me as her hero… if you know what I mean… you don't… let me explain this to you…"

Luigi came on and he was looking at the ground nervously

"Well… I am SO sick of Mario getting all the attention… I mean… I do stuff too… I like… killed a goomba that came too close to Peach once… AND SHE THOUGHT IT WAS NOTHING! Man… Mario saves her from Bowser with thousands of minions and she thinks THAT'S something… MAN! Oh well some day she will appreciate me for being nicer than MARIO! I mean his family only adopted me… and he only looks out for me…"

The last person to come on was Bowser.

"Man… I really wish Peach would back off… I never asked for this when I signed up to be the villain… MARIO FRIGGEN THROWS ME BY THE TAIL! Oh man I get so sick of that… I sit there in my castle having a party and Peach will run up to me and tell me that she needs some capturing… COME BY WHEN I'M NOT BUSY LADY! Crud she gets captured like 7 times a month…"

"OK THEN NOW THAT WE KNOW THE CONTESTANTS LETS SEE THE FIRST TEST! YOU MUST CROSS THE BRIDGE! THIS IS A BRIDGE MADE OUT OF YOGURT! IT IS 100 FEET ACROSS AND ONE INCH WIDE! THE FALL IS 9,000 FEET! WE HAVE AMBULANCES STANDING BY JUST IN CASE! YOU WILL ALSO BE ATTACHED TO A YOGURT BUNGEE CORD 10,000 FEET LONG! OK THEN WE TOOK NAMES OUT OF A HAT! AND FIRST UP IS BOWSER!"

Bowser stared at the bridge then up at his bungee cord… then stared at Master Hand.

"DUDE THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!" Bowser yelled.

"SHUT UP AND GO!" Master Hand yelled and pushed Bowser onto the bridge which just broke due to its being made from yogurt… then his bungee cord snapped before it was even done unwrapping… so Bowser hid in his shell… he landed on the spiked side and all the spikes were pushed up into the part Bowser was in… screams were heard and blood poured out of the holes.

"Oh… this is physically impossible… OH WELL WE STILL HAVE ONE MORE CONTESTANT TO GO AND THAT'S LUIGI!"

Luigi looked around scared and then threw his fist in the air… now that he didn't have a fist he screamed in pain and fell over… then he got up and screamed.

"I WILL PROVE I AM BETTER THAN MARIO!" Luigi then long jumped and almost made it to the other side… but didn't and fell to his doom.

"AND NOW THERE ARE 4 CONTESTANTS LEFT! LETS SEE WHO GETS ELIMINATED NEXT!"

They were now at a cliff… actually it was only 10 feet but oh well…

"YOU HAVE TO DO AS MANY BACK FLIPS AS YOU CAN OFF THE CLIFF! MARIO GOES FIRST!"

Mario went to the cliff and did 10 back flips perfectly and laughed…

"NEXT IS MARTH!"

Marth did a back flip but then cracked his head into the corner and fell over unconscious… but living.

"ONE BACK FLIP! HIS ONLY HOPE IS THAT SOMEONE DIES!… NEXT IS POPO!"

Popo tried to do a back flip but couldn't because Nana wasn't there to help him… in fact he couldn't even jump… after a while he just fell over and cracked his neck.

"OH WELL I GUESS THAT MEANS THE THREE THAT WILL MAKE IT TO THE FINALS ARE MARTH! ROY! AND MARIO!" Master Hand screamed.

They went to a pool with a cage.

"THE PERSON WHO GETS OUT OF THE CAGE FASTEST WINS!… MARTH GOES FIRST!"

Marth was put into the cage… but he was unconscious and just floated in the cage for an hour… they decided to bring the cage up.

"WELL MARTH IS DISQUALIFIED DUE TO DEATH! NEXT IS ROY!"

Roy got into the cage… and then poked Marth with his sword… lighting him on fire… Roy screamed as the fire was too hot and melted…

"OH DEAR! ROY IS DEAD! THAT MEANS THE WINNER IS MARIO! BUT HE NEEDS TO AT LEAST GO INTO THE CAGE TO GET THE $100,000"

Mario got into the cage and it was lowered… Mario then opened the gate and swam out… but then a shark ripped him to shreds.

"OH WELL! I GUESS I GET TO KEEP THE $100,000 THEN! AND I GUESS FEAR IS A FACTOR!" Master Hand yelled and the screen faded away.

* * *

YAY!

Ok that was a long one… my longest chapter for a long time… YAY!

Well that's ok… or it isn't…

Ok well lets see… there is nothing to talk about…

JET FORCE GEMINI PWNS!

Well lets see… graphics pwnd for the time it was made… and its gory… and game play pwns… I swear they need to make a sequel… so what even if it comes out for Xbox 360... I would buy an Xbox 360 just so I could play Jet Force Gemini 2… oh well…

R&GRD Read and Get-R-Done… YAY!


	4. MXC!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 4! MXC!**

Disclaimer: I wish I owned MXC but I don't… oh well… I SHALL OWN ALL VIDEO GAMES SOME DAY! MWAHAHAHA!

Reviews: PEOPLE CARE ABOUT ME!

Lets see… why do I care… oh well…

**SOME ANIME FREAK**: Oh dear… PLEASE DON'T SMASH THE SMASHERS! Oh well… see what I care… and if you wanna smash anyone smash my dad… he stops my updating power… WAH!

**Eternal Smasher**: I promise I will F#$ it up pretty good… when I get to it… its on the list though so no worries… have a peanut…

**A FAKE PRINCESS!**: YAY! Ok then you seem to be a bit crazed about wannabies and posers… oh well lets see here… THANKS! Crazy Hand is always the craziest I can make him… which means he is just like me in school… making all the idiots who dance around saying weird is cool get away from me because I'm too weird… YAY!

**PKMN7HAKU123**: I swear you have the hardest name to remember… ARG! Oh well who's line is on the list and its CLOSE! 2 updates away… not counting this one… oh well YAY!

other random stuff: ... hi...I said that no one stays dead... I would run out of peeps to make fun of if i did that...

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

Anime freak gains 2 cause she likes GORILLAZ! YAY!

Princess BLEH gets 2 cause she likes N64... YAY!

Smasher dude can have 3 cause CELEBRITY INTERVIEWS PWNS YOU ALL!

PKEN2DJFK123 can have 1 cause I'm feeling nice today… and who's line is awesome…

Hmm… the sad fact is that I am tired… and mad… and ARG! I will write a book when I grow up… I will dedicate it to the pricks of my neighborhood… DEATH TO YOU ALL!

REEL BIG FISH! (listen to them… NOW!)

Oh and dude this will be a bit different than most… cause I FEEL LIKE IT!… and MXC is different than most…

* * *

Tons of random wire frames with some of the Smashers started running down a hill screaming. 

The SSBM Narrator (whoever that is) comes on "WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE RUNNING FROM! THEIR NOT! THEIR RUNNING TO THE MOST EXTREME ELEM…" a coughing and wheezing noise is heard and we hear from this man no more.

"HI LOOK AT ME IM FUNNEY! LAUGH! I LAKE GIRLS! LOOK WE HAVE SOME GIRLS ON TODAYS EPISODE!" Crazy Hand yells sitting with Master hand and a group of wire frame girls are behind them giggling.

"OH! CRAZY! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! TODAY IT WILL BE THE BATTLE OF HUMANS VERSUS NON-HUMANS! THE ANNOUNCER WOULD HAVE TOLD US THAT BUT GOT A PICHU STUCK IN HIS CYRVAX! AND NOW LETS GO TO THE CAPTAIN!" Master Hand yelled and Giga-Bowser was in front of the Smashers… most of them anyway… and a random crowd of wire frames…

"How many of you think that non-humans and humans should be allowed to marry… show of hands NOW!"

Everyone except Fox and Yoshi raised their hands.

"Well you're WRONG! Mixing the two can lead to deformed children… and even shriveling… I see you two raised your hands excitedly… what do you say?"

He pointed to Kirby and Luigi… who were hugging.

"You're wrong! As long as there is love we will be ok!" Luigi said and Giga-Bowser stared at them creped out… then launched his flame breath and killed them.

"OK NOW WHAT DO YOU SAY" he yelled and pointed at Fox.

"That stuffs just nasty! Humans are nasty!" Fox yelled.

"Cant argue with that… LETS GO!" Giga-Bowser yelled and pointed forward… everyone charged forward when some of the wire frames tripped and were crushed under everyone.

"OH OH WHERES GUY… I LIKE TO CALL HIM GAY OF COURSE CAUSE IM FUNNEY!" Crazy hand yelled.

"AH YES CRAZY WE LIKE GUY BUT HE COULDN'T COME TODAY ON ACCOUNT HE WAS FINNALY KILLED BY THAT WOMENS RIGHTS GROUP THAT HAD BEEN HUNTING HIM!"

"WOW! YOU THINK I CAN GET THERE NUMBER… MAYBE GET THEM TO 'HUNT' ME IF YOU KNOW WHAT IM SAYING!"

"CRAZY!…"

It goes to the first challenge… a river with lots of rocks in it.

"OUR FIRST CONTESTANT IS FROM MUSHROOM KINGDOM!" Master Hand said as Peach ran up, "SHE CLAIMS TO BE THE PRINCESS!"

"YEA! THAT'S WHAT SHROOMS CAN DO TO YA!" Crazy Hand said.

"I FORGOT WHERE I LIVE!" Peach yelled into the camera and started jumping… but she missed the first rock and just ran into the water.

"OH! AND THAT'S GONNA HURT!… BECAUSE TODAYS MYSTERY FLUID IS ACID FROM THE NON-HUMAN SEX SLAVERY CAMP IN TIBET!"

"THAT'S RIGHT CRAZY! AND IT LOOKS LIKE SHE HAS MELTED!"

All that's left is a crown floating in the acid…

"STARTING IT OFF FOR THE NON-HUMANS IS MEWTWO! A KIND BUT EVIL DRUG DEALER!" Master Hand said.

"Buy my 'Pichu'" Mewtwo said and floated across the water to the other side.

"OH AND IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A CHEATER!" Crazy Hand yelled, "SEND IN THE REFEREE!"

Suddenly Giga-Bowser ran up and pushed Mewtwo into the water causing him to melt in extreme agony.

"NEXT UP WE HAVE MARTH! A PROFESSIONAL LIAR!" Master Hand said.

"IM NOT GAY!" Marth yelled and started running along the stones.

He landed on the first one. Jumped to the right and then to the left… then he slipped when he got to the fourth one and folded up onto the rock. Shriveling around it he formed a skin on the rock.

"OH AND THAT'S OUR MXC IMPACT REPLAY!" Master Hand yelled.

As they go through the replay Crazy stops it and circles the butt.

"I CAN SEE HER UNDERWEAR!" He yelled.

"CRAZY! THAT'S A GUY!"

"IM SCARRED FOR LIFE!"

They went back to the field where Jigglypuff was waiting… she winked at the camera.

"AND THIS IS JIGGLYPUFF!… A PROFESSIONAL SINGER AT HIGGENSTEIN!" Master Hand said.

"HEY MY MOM WORKS THERE!" Crazy Hand said.

"CRAZY! THAT'S A WHORE HOUSE!" Master Hand yelled.

"YEA I KNOW! AND IM FUNNEY! DON'T YOU ALL LAUGH WHEN YOU HEAR ME AND MY VOICE!"

So then Jigglypuff took off and floated above the rocks and touched the very last one then jumped for the bank on the opposite end… but ended up coming short and popped on impact with the water.

"HOW SAD… AND I GUESS HIGGENSTEIN WILL GO WITHOUT A SINGER NOW!" Master Hand said.

"OH I WANT TO DO THE NEXT ONE!" Crazy Hand yelled.

"CRAZY! I DON'T THINK YOU ARE READY FOR THE RESPONSIBILITY!"

"OH COMMON! IM FUNNEY! FUNNEY! OH! YAY!"

"OH FINE HERE!"

Mario ran up. "HERE WE GO!"

"WOW! HE'S FROM THE SHROOM KINGDOM TOO!"

Mario jumped and jumped and due to tons of experience with this stuff he landed on the other side.

"OH THAT'S ONE POINT FOR THE HUMANS!" Crazy Hand yelled, "NOW LISTEN TO MY FUNNEYNESS OH!"

"OK CRAZY! AND LAST FOR THE NON-HUMANS IS THE LOVIBLE ADORABLE PICHU!" Master Hand yelled.

Hundreds of Pichus ran to shore.

"HEY WHATS THIS?" Master Hand asked in confusion.

"OH! Well you see there are tons more Non-Humans than humans… so I invited all the Pichus to try instead of just one!" Crazy Hand explained.

"ARG! WHATEVER!"

All the Pichus started running and jumping and the pile of dead Pichus got bigger and bigger until only one was left… he jumped forward but hit into the large pile of Pichus that was shrinking as the acid traveled up… Pichu made a mad dash forward but never made it and was killed.

"AND THAT'S THE END OF SINKERS AND FLOATERS!" Crazy Hand yelled.

"CRAZY! YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATH OF AN ENTIRE RACE!" Master Hand screamed pissed off. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH WE'RE GONNA LOSE IN THE LAWSUIT!"

"DON'T WORRY THERE ISNT ANYONE LEFT TO SUE US!" Crazy Hand said and Master Hand was left to ponder this.

So because we are cheap we went to the last one next… BRASS BALLS!

"WELL THE HUMANS ARE 1 AND THE NON-HUMANS ARE 0 LETS SEE JUST WHO WINS IT HERE AT THE BRASS BALLS!" Master Hand yelled dramatically. "THE POINT OF THE GAME IS TO MAKE IT TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BRIDGE WITHOUT FALLING OR LOSING YOUR BRASS BALL!"

Link walked up first and waived his sword in the air… then walked across the bridge. A brass ball was shot to him by Giga-Bowser… the Ball went too fast and knocked Link's head off.

"Oh crud wrong setting" Giga-Bowser muttered.

"OH THAT'S MXC'S IMPACT REPLAY!" Master Hand yelled.

"WOW THE HEAD WENT CLEAR OFF!" Crazy Hand said amazed.

Then Mr. G&W ran up and beeped over and over.

"THIS IS MR. G&W! HE LOST HIS VOICE BOX IN A TRAGIC CHINESE MINING ACCEDENT!" Master Hand said.

"YEA! HE SUED AND MADE PENNEYS!"

Mr. G&W walked across the Bridge but then fell through a crack and sliced through the safety net.

"LOOKS LIKE HE… UM… HE DIED!" Crazy Hand Yelled. "AND I AM STILL CRAZY! OH HAHA! LAUGH AT ME ALREADY! WOOT!"

Then the Hands got bored and just decided to end it.

"THE HUMANS WIN!" Master Hand exclaimed.

"YEA! I THINK I SHOULD APPLY FOR HUMANSHIP!" Crazy Hand yelled.

"I WOULD REPLY TO THAT BUT IM DRUNK…"

"AND I WOULD SHOW THE MOST PAINFUL ELIMINATIONS OF THE DAY… BUT IM TRYING TO GET LAID TONIGHT!" Crazy Hand yelled.

And I like saying Crazy Hand yelled.

"WHAT DO WE ALWAYS SAY!" Master Hand yelled.

Everyone looked around confused.

"OH WELL LETS JUST PRETEND WE SAID WHATEVER WE NORMALLY SAY!" Master Hand said and they all pointed their hands into the sky.

* * *

For those of you who don't know MXC it comes on Spike TV from time to time… no clue the exact time cause it they change their schedules so much. 

OH THAT WAS EVEN LONGER! OH MY IM GOOD!

(no you're not)

Oh fine but I can pretend… sorry about the long time for updating but… summer school came up and… WAH!

But it is easier than anything I have ever done before so hey I should be done with that soon…

But then I'm going on a week long vacation…

WELL I WILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO ABOUT UPDATING BUT THERE ARE PROBLEMS IN THE WAY!

R&MXC Read and Make eXtreme Comment…


	5. WHOS COUSIN IS IT ANYWAY!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 5! Who's Cousin Is It Anyway!… Seriously I need to know this information!**

Disclaimer: I don't own it… when they read the lines at the end do you really SEE Joeb… NO! and you see nothing anywhere near… you might see a Joseph or two but I haven't so there!

Reviews: blah hmm… The Used… the pwn pretty good… at least the first CD does… the hidden track number 12... Listen to that one… its as random as I am!

Lets see… why do I care… oh well…

**SOME ANIME FREAK**: You're trusty? Hmm oh well lets pretend that's true!

**Eternal Smasher**: I confused myself a lot… well anyway lets see… Crazy Hand can get laid but if I described how, I would have to make this M rated…

**Tikitikidude**: Blah lets see… you didn't say mean things to me! Have you ever! Well you were the first and practically only review for UBER FIGHT so I guess you made me cry… so you get a black star… WHAT! Blacks cooler anyway

**DPL**: what! How dare you! Wait what did you do… BLAH! Hmm I guess I will… dang I forgot what I was saying… grr… look just never do it again…

**That other dude with the bunnies**: good cause if it was the band I would just HAVE to ask you what band is named Random and then I would get shot for my insolence… I think…

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

Anime freak gains 1 cause she named herself anime freak and yet I like her… destroying half of my life because of this…

Smasher dude can have 44 cause HAHAHA not really I tricked you… you can have 1 cause you are fat with a ph… phat… and you are smart with a ph… phart… DUDE! I just randomly did that and IT WORKS!

All those other dudes can have 1 cause I am LAZY! Oh K then…

Ah I was gonna have a sleepover today but that never worked out so DAGNAMIT!

REEL BIG FISH! (oh but if you are slightly 'trendier' then listen to The Used… they still pwn… but they are also actually known)

* * *

"WELCOME TO WHOS COUSIN IS IT ANYWAY!" Crazy Hand started as the crowd around him cheered and squealed and screamed and other random activities one would do when watching a guy they don't like get raped… in front of them… so we don't know if they are happy or sad… but… ON WITH THE SHOW!

"SMELLS LIKE HE JUST GOT OUT OF A WAL-MART! NESS OKINOWAKA!… SMELLS LIKE HE JUST GOT OUT OF MCDONNALDS! FOX MCCLOUD!… SMELLS LIKE HE JUST GOT OUT OF COLLEGE! GANNONDORF!…SMELLS LIKE HE JUST GOT OUT OF BRITANY SPEARS! CAPTAIN FALCON!"

Just then C. Falcon stood up smiling.

"THAT'S CAUSE I DID!"

Everyone looked at him shocked and then Crazy pressed a button sending a giant anvil onto C. Falcon and leaving Samus there instead… then the anvil disappeared.

"I'VE BEEN TOLD TO SAY A JOKE HERE SO HERE! IM CRAZY! IS THAT A JOKE! LAUGH GOD DAMNIT!" Crazy yelled as no one laughed.

"HERE BITCHES! HAHAHA!" Crazy Hand yelled and sent three missiles into the crowd killing a ton of random people… well only 5 but whatever…

Everyone laughed and applauded happily and now finally the show starts.

"THE FIRST ONE IS! WEIRD NEWSCASTERS! BE WEIRD! BE WEIRD FOR THE CHILDREN!" Crazy yelled and everyone stood up and went to the middle.

"OK BY THE WAY POINTS DON'T MATTER! POINTS DON'T MATTER AT ALL!" Crazy had yelled.

"YES THEY DO! HE'S FORCING US TO FIGHT OVER POINTS! HELP US!" Ness cried but was silenced by an anvil and Y. Link popped up in his place.

"NOW NOW NOW! Y. LINK IS THE NORMAL DUDE AS THE ANCHORMAN!… FOX IS THE PARANOID DOG TRYING TO WARN Y. LINK THAT OLD LADY JENKINS IS TRAPED IN THE MILL!… SAMUS IS A DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE! GANNONDORF IS A DRUNK COP WHO FOGOT THE MEANING OF WEATHER! LETS GO! START BEFORE I KILL YOU!" Crazy Hand yelled and they all started.

"Good Morning and welcome to the 12:38 news… tonight a story about a poodle and a bulldog and the romance that was deemed impossible… but first to our co-anchor spla ter… SPLA!"

Everyone just laughed partially scared of the crazy hand Crazy Hand standing… er… floating in front of them.

"ROOF ROOF! OLD! ROOF! OLD! OLD! ROOF ROOF! LADY! JENKINS! ROOF!" Fox said and started staring straight at the camera as if pointing.

"HAHA! That's right Spla! This just in an old lady was found dead trapped in a mill yesterday!… NOW TO GIBBLEDY GOBBLEDY GOOP!"

Samus sat there staring at the camera…

"Would you like to see my tulips… come in… let me pay you!… PLEASE! She started hanging off of Y. Links arm and he blushed as everyone laughed hysterically and then laughed more… Crazy Hand shot another missile into the crowd cause he was sick of all the laughter.

"Oh… in sports today…" Samus continued. "Shaq looks 'big' and DAMN! That guy looks FINE!" She said staring into the camera trying to drool but couldn't due to the suit. "Back to you Link..."

Y. Link sat there confused… "NOW TO THE WEATHER… WITH BIG NOSE!" Y. Link pointed to Gannondorf.

"H-HEY! What… ARE YOU… THAT'S A CRIME YOUNG… UM… ANYWAY!… LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING SHOULD CLEAR UP FOR ME SOON… I sure hope so… AND UM… IN TOMOROWS WH-WH-HUH? WHAT! LETS JUST… UM CALL IT A BHLEB!… UM… SOMETHING… UM!" Gannondorf suddenly collapsed… everyone laughed and laughed and laughed… Crazy Hand just fell over screaming at all the laughter.

"THAT'S ENOUGH BACK TO YOUR CHAIRS! NOW!" He screamed hitting a buzzer.

"OK THAT'S NICE! 1000 POINTS TO FOX CAUSE NO ONE LAUGHED AT YOU! YAY!" Crazy Hand said but suddenly a loud bang was heard from the door.

"THAT'S IT CRAZY! I WAS SUPPOSED TO HOST THIS SHOW! NOW GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!" Master Hand yelled and the two hands faced each other in a western style scene.

Everyone watched dramatically when Crazy just floated away muttering something about overpriced butter.

"OK! NEXT UP WE HAVE COMPILATION ALBUMS! OR SOMETHING NAMES SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" Master Hand yelled and everyone clapped and cheered as their new host was here.

Y. LINK AND FOX ARE SELLING A COMPILATION ALBUM ABOUT COMEDIANS AND SAMUS AND GANNONDORF WILL TRY TO SING THE SONGS!… GO!"

"Good evening! We will be right back with 'SSBM: a mansion untold' right after this!" Y. Link said and Fox just laughed along.

"THAT'S RIGHT LINK!… comedians… love 'em or hate 'em you gotta love the music… and that's what we have for you today!" Fox said.

"THAT'S RIGHT! 245334 songs on 1 gold star CD!" Y. Link said and everyone screamed as nails were inserted.

"You know… I've always been a fan of the opera…" Y. Link started.

"REALLY! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE THAT YOUNG!" Fox said making everyone laugh.

"Umm… THAT'S RIGHT!… 'YOUNG' LINK IS ONLY A NICKNAME! IM ACTUALLY 62!… BUT ANYWAY! I always love that great opera hit! Bombing on Broadway!"

Opera music started as Samus and Gannondorf get prepped… then Samus starts first.

"AH-AH-AH!… IT'S THE OPERA! COMEDA! HE BOMBED IT! HA-HA-HA! ON BROADWAY!"

"THE COMEDY! AS YOU CAN SEE! WAS BOMBED TODAY! ON AH-AH-BROADWAY!"

Then the two looked at each other and started making a random garble of sound together moving their lips randomly… the crowd screamed in laughter and clapped and cheered and Master Hand just looked confused at the strange phenomenon…

"WOW!" Master Hand said… "WELL I GUESS ITS TIME FOR US TO BE FINISHED! CAUSE I DON'T WANT ANOTHER EVENT LIKE THAT TO HAPPEN!" Master Hand yelled and the credits started rolling down.

Gannondorf ran up instinctively and attempted to read the credits… but they fell on him and he was crushed. Next Y. Link started drinking Lon Lon Milk talking to Samus when she proposed to him causing him to gag on the milk and fall over blue.

Fox started linking himself when he just popped… THANKS TO MASTER HANDS UBER CONTROL SYSTEM!

Samus was confused at the strange things and just shot herself…

Master Hand turned to the screaming crowd… cause the nails were taken out and rust was applied before reinsertion.

"SEE YOU NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER RANDOM HAPPY EVENT!"… the screen faded as the crowd was killed by Crazy Hands random crazy reentrance.

* * *

YAY!

Now when I put Crazy Hands text I like to think of what I would do if I was in front of a large crowd of people… then I add a pound of lard…

You wouldn't believe what a whole pound of lard can DO… but trust me its good.

What else can I squeeze in here…

I LIKE… wontons… they pwn… so does ramen… hmm… BOO…

R&WTF! Read and Wash The Floor!

How was that!

Oh fine I'll leave!… Meanie!


	6. WHEEL OF FORTUNE!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 6! Wheel Of Fortune!**

Disclaimer: I do not own freaks… I do not own FanFiction I do not own idiosyncrasies… I do not own Lon Lon Milk…

Reviews: screw you…

**Numdenu**: YAY! ok you earned Link's ocarina... YAY FOR YOU!

**SOME ANIME FREAK**: well the problem is that you have seen all this before and loose interest… if I had made that one first you would have though the first one made last would have been less funny… you don't understand me but oh well… BLEH!

**Eternal Smasher**: lol no it isn't Ness's real last name… I just randomly typed some letters that would go together… oh well

**That other dude with the bunnies**: well that's wonderful… you have no doubt heard of Reel Big Fish… NO! oh well listen to The Used… track 12's hidden track… ITS UBER! I cant stop listening to it… its nothing like Reel Big Fish… its eviler…

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

Anime freak loses 1335 cause she said something that was slightly not what I wanted…

Smasher dude loses 1335 cause he thought that that was Ness's last name…

Bunny boy loses 1335 cause he told me about a group that sounds somewhat like Brittany Spears…

Numdenu can have 4005 gold stars... YAY FOR THE WONTONS!

Oh I helped my brother frame a wall yesterday! isn't that lovely!

THE USED! (YOU'RE SO CRAZY!)

* * *

"WELCOME TO THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE! I AM THE HOST! AND THIS TIME IM ACTUALLY LEGAL! HOWS THAT FIR A PLOT TWIST! YAY! TODAY THE CONTESTANTS WILL HAVE TO SPIN A STUPID WHEEL AND THEN GUESS LETTERS IN A HANGMAN STYLE GAME! I DECIDED TO MAKE THIS GAME I BIT MORE LIKE HANGMAN HOWEVER! SO TODAY WE HAVE DK HERE! 5 MISTAKES AND HE WILL BE HANGED!" Crazy Hand yelled to the audience and contestants. 

"HERE FROM MY BASEMENT WHERE SHE WAS TIED UP FOR A WEEK! ITS JIGGLYPUFF!… HERE FROM MY ATTIC WHERE HE WAS TIED UP FOR A MONTH! ITS PIKACHU! HERE FROM MY FRIDGE WHERE HE WAS… OH WAIT! WELL I GUESS PICHU WONT BE ABLE TO BE HERE AS HE WAS EATEN!"

Jigglypuff and Pikachu looked at the audience confused.

"JIGGLYPUFF WILL GO FIRST! SPIN THE WHEEL! OH WATCH IT GO AROUND! OH!"

Jigglypuff spun the wheel and it landed on '$2' then she looked up at the screen and yelled out.

"J!"

Peach walked up to the board of white blocks and flipped Jigglypuff off.

"ITS NOT HERE! WHEE!" Peach said and Crazy Hand stared at her… or at least tried to.

"YOU CANT BE CRAZY! I HAVE TO BE THE CRAZY ONE! HOW DARE YOU!" and with this Crazy Hand crushed Peach up and threw her out the window of their 100,000,000 story building… of course they were only on the 50,000 floor so she didn't splat AS hard as she would have.

Pikachu spun the wheel next… he landed on '$200,000,000 and a free girlfriend'.

"P!" he cried.

"NO NO P! HAHA! YOU LOSE! NO MONEY FOR YOU! NO GIRLFRIEND FO YOU! I KILLED HER JUST RECENTLY THOUGH! SO YOU COULDN'T HAVE HER IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Crazy Hand yelled and the turn went back to Jigglypuff.

She spun and it landed on 'peanut'.

"G!" She said and a loud buzzer sounded right in her ear causing her to fall over screaming.

"NO! HAHA! 2 MORE MISTAKES AND DK DIES! OH DEAR!"

Pikachu spun the wheel and landed on '$82,453,827,498,237,490,372,094,583,959,378,560,478,396 and edible babies.

"K!" He cried and a ding sound came on. Pikachu started dancing in glee.

"YAY!" DK cried before Crazy Hand taped his mouth shut.

The board now read:

K…

Pikachu went to spin again… but landed on bankruptcy.

"PIKA PI PI! CHU!" Pikachu cried and everyone in the crowed laughed.

"WOW HOW SAD THOU ART! I JUST GOT BACK FROM THE MINITURIZED VERTION OF ROMEO AND JULIET! YAY! OK WHAT ELSE! DK! I'M BORED SO LETS JUST HANG HIM!"

DK was dropped from the plank he was on and landed in the middle of the room slowly spinning… he screamed for a bit but then was silent.

"HAHA! NOW WHERE WERE WE! OK THEN! JIGGLYPUFF GO!"

Jigglypuff span the wheel and landed on Bankruptcy.

"OH WELL HOW SAD! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY SO HOW ABOUT YOU PAY… WITH YOUR LIFE!" Crazy Hand yelled and tried to kick Jigglypuff… but didn't have the feet to do it.

"JIG JIG!" Jigglypuff said and ran… but wasn't looking where she was going and stepped on a pin.

POP!

Little pink pieces floated to the ground.

"HAHA! WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! WELL I GUESS PIKACHU WINS! HE COLLECTED NO MONEY THOUGH! HOW SAD!"

Pikachu started crying and slit his wrists… but as the blood spewed everywhere he realized he wasn't dieing… but he didn't want to have to go back to Ash… what would he ever do…

That was answered when Crazy Hand stepped on him… but then he realized Crazy Hand floats… so that was the end of that.

" PIKA PIKA CHU! PIK CHU CHU PIKA! PIKACHU PIKA! CHU CHU PIKA CHU! PIKACHU! CHU PIKA! PIKA PIKA PIKA CHU! PIKACHU! PIKA! CHU CHU! PIKA PIKA! CHU PIKA! PIKACHU PIKACHU! PIKACHU CHU! PIKA! CHU PIKA! CHU CHU! PIKA CHU! PIKA PIKA!" Pikachu started ranting but everyone got bored so they threw him out the window… as he fell he screamed.

"PIKA PIKA! CHU! PIKA! CHU! PIKA PIKA! PIKACHU! PIK…" he splattered into the ground.

"WELL I THINK ITS OVER! AND ALL THESE GREAT PRIZES TOO! OH MY WHAT WILL I EVER DO!" Crazy Hand yelled.

"CAN I WIN!" Kirby asked shyly.

"OK WHATEVER HERE YOU GO!" Crazy Hand yelled and shoved all the prizes into Kirby's mouth and shoved him out the window… Kirby couldn't spit all of the stuff out of his mouth fast enough and ended up splating into the ground.

"HAHAHA! I AM TOO HAPPY! I GUESS THIS IS THE END! BYE! GET OUT! NOW! HURRY IT UP AND GET OUT OF THE STUDEO! THAT'S IT ITS TIME FOR SELF DESTRUCTION!" Crazy Hand screamed and the building they were in exploded.

* * *

YAY! 

Ok this is short but who cares…

You should know what that was…

K…

Just think of a four letter word ending with a K… and what comes next…

THAT'S RIGHT! FUNK YOU!

isn't that great!

Bye!…

Oh and I just found the My Chemical Romance stuff I saved to my computer… they pwn… DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO GUYS LIKE US IN PRISON!

Oh and no one gets any cool prizes… sorry… not… BYE! HAHA!... oh whatever Numdenu earned Links ocarina... so... DONT CRY!

Oh wait what's a good movie… on newgrounds… watch the decline of video games… its on the top 50 list in the flash portal… then watch the matrix has you… then watch the matrix still has you… then watch the one ring to rule them all 2... they arnt all by the same person but they are all awsome... just PLEASE try to find them...

DUDE I LOVE MY LIFE!

Ok that's it… bye


	7. SURVIVORERAR

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 7! Survivor!**

Disclaimer: I do not own crap… ok that's a lie I own lots of crap… but I do not own SSBM or Survivor… or the fly swatters of DOOM!

Reviews: WOOT WOOT!

**SOME ANIME FREAK**: some day we will look back on this and care… until then I will MAKE THEM AS SHORT AS I FEEL LIKE MAKING THEM! And since this is survivor you can expect some… longer stuff

**Eternal Smasher**: sounds wonderful… I will check it out… and then I will slap you… how's that! Ok let me think for a moment… well k good bye!

**That other dude with the bunnies**: I consider myself a slow worthless piece of flesh son of a mom but whatever…

**DPL**: thank you dearly! And have Madonna… how's that for a going nowhere present! Oh yea… she sucks… oh well…

**PirateGoddess**: HOLY CRAP THANK YOU! Yay I always like it when someone has seen newgrounds's uber flashes…

Numdenu: Yes I have! And Legendary Frog is MY FAVORITE FLASH AUTHOR! No one had beaten the super flash bros. But then I saw this person… it's a funny story how I noticed him but I wont bore you…

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

Anime freak gains 1335 cause I stole those from her as I had a good time…

Smasher dude gains 1335 cause I stole those from him as I had a great time…

Bunny boy gains 1335 cause I stole those from him as I had an UBER time…

Hmm… I have nothing to say to you! Oh fine I do… go to newgrounds and watch We hate it when… its number 84 if you search it or like 40 something on the top 50… Its not humor but it is a music video with REEL BIG FISH! WOOTNESS! And there are some funny parts in the movie…

REEL BIG FISH! WE HATE IT WHEN OUR FRIENDS BECOME SUCCESSFUL! (they are talking about Green Day successful for future reference)

* * *

"WELCOME TO THE SHOW ON EVERYBODIES HATE LIST! ITS SURVIVOR!" Master Hand yelled over enthusiastically.

The 25 Smashers were sitting there confused at what to do…

"BECAUSE WE ONLY WANT TO HAVE 16 PEOPLE ON THIS ISLAND LETS KILL… UM… I CANT DO MATH! SOMEONE TELL ME HOW MANY PEOPLE I NEED TO KILL! NOW!" Master Hand screamed.

"9 People need to die!" Pichu yelled.

"THAT'S RIGHT! I WOULD REWARD YOU FOR THE ANSWER BUT! NO ONE LIKES YOU! SO DIE!" Master Hand yelled and shot lasers at Pichu… of course the lasers he shoots usually fling around randomly and do no damage whatsoever…

"HAHA! You suck" Pichu laughed…

BUT SUDDENLY!

Master Hand jumped on Pichu and started squeezing… crunchy noises were heard as Pichu was crushed with blood spurting out of random places on his body…

"OK THAT MAKES 24 OF US! WHO WILL THE OTHER… UM… 8 PEOPLE BE! LETS FIND OUT!"

So they were all lined up sweating extremely badly… it was unnatural… in fact it got so sweaty that everyone started screaming and tried to turn on air conditioning… AND IT TURNED ON! So then they weren't so sweaty and didn't have to worry about a stinky death.

Before Master Hand could name anyone Mr. G&W fell through a crack in the floor… beeping was heard and suddenly a loud ripping noise… that was the end of our dear friend Mr. G&W…

Kirby and Jigglypuff started getting scared and started trying to hug… but since they are so blobby… it was impossible… therefore they ended up straining to hard… Jigglypuffs arms were ripped off… the resulting scream caused Kirby to fall over… ears bleeding… he was too close to the scream and ended up dieing… then Jigglypuff collapsed and died from loss of blood.

"OK LETS SEE… one two three… four… WE HAVE 5 MORE PEOPLE TO KILL! LETS GO PEOPLE!"

Mewtwo suddenly walked up to Zelda… Zelda had been thinking about Link… sure he saved her ass all the time from Gannon… but still… he was just… so… blond… she decided that blond people should be shot…

Mewtwo started looking off dreamily at Zelda… he might have been a whole different species and sure he really hadn't know her for longer than a week… but oh how he loved her… his strange princess fetish was about to become a reality…

Link looked at the two confused… then noticed an evil so evil it was evilly trying to kill Zelda… so he jumped in front and killed it… it was Yoshi… suddenly Links hair turned purple.

"OH I LOVE YOU LINK!" Zelda said… it was all just her manners though… in the end she wanted him dead… she wanted some weird thing… like what she had seen on the internet… maybe tentacles could be involved.

Mewtwo tried to cry but then realized when he was created they forgot to make tear producing glands… oh well.

Ness realized that Mewtwo was acting weird… he placed a block on the blocks to make sure no blockhead came and blocked his blocking…

"Dude… you are so… you…" Ness said… Mewtwo tried to nod but realized that he was paralyzed… then fell over dead…

"OK WHATEVER JUST HAPPENED 3 MORE DEATHS NEED TO OCCUR!" Master Hand yelled.

Link started saying how he loved Zelda and she ran and puked into a conveniently placed toilet… then she ran back and said sorry and nothing was wrong… even though no one asked…

Then C. Falcon ran up and stabbed Link… Zelda started to fake cry but got a peanut stuck in her eye and ended up shoving it in and blood started pouring out… then she fell over next to Links mangled body…

"We die together…" Link said romantically… as his hair turned brown.

Then Zelda started screaming.

"I THINK YOU ARE A PIG LINK! YOU SAVED ME COUNTLESS TIMES AND THINK OF ONLY ME ALL THE TIME BUT YOU ARE… A HERO! AND I HATE HEROS! SO I HATE YOU!" Zelda started crying… Link looked shocked… then started blinking red.

C. Falcon forgot whatever he had just been doing and started walking away… but Link exploded causing him, Zelda, and C. Falcon to all die.

Y. Link could just sit there… sad… he just witnessed his… 17 year old self… die… but he wasn't really… he started doing back flips as usual.

"OK THAT'S GOOD! NOW WE HAVE 16 PEOPLE! LETS START THE SHOW! MEET ME AT THE BEACH! SHUT UP! WHAT! BLEH!" Master Hand said and flew away leaving everyone there… shocked and appalled.

(AT THE BEACH!)

Everyone left walked to the beach where Master Hand was waiting.

"WELCOME! NOW LETS SPLIT TO TEAMS! EVERYONE JOIN A TEAM! GO!"

Out of nowhere two different ropes popped up and everyone was roped together with their teammates…

Team 1… flummox:

Fox, Falco, Samus, Ness, Mario, Peach, Luigi, Dr. Mario

Team 2… corpulent:

Y. Link, Gannondorf, Marth, Pikachu, Bowser, DK, Ice Climbers, Roy

"WOW! WELL ITS UP TO YOU TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THOSE NAMES MEAN!… SO HA!"

Everyone just went off to their own little groups.

"Ok… lets all vote Ness off!" Fox said to his own group.

"DUDE! I'M RIGHT HERE!" Ness yelled… Fox just looked around suspiciously and then shot Ness in the face… his fluids were drained and he died.

"YOU MORON! WE NEEDED HIM SO HE COULD MAKE FIRE!" Falco yelled but Master Hand came up.

"NO ONE CAN USE NATURAL FIRE MAKING ABILITY! SO BOWSER MUST HOLD HIS BREATH FOR THE REST OF THIS GAME!"

Bowser just looked pissed and sat there… then started shacking and turning blue… then fell over dead.

"WOW THE FIRST ELIMINATIONS ALREADY! WELL THAT'S WONDERFUL!"

Suddenly Pikachu walked up to him.

"Umm… aren't we supposed to have contests.

"OK EVERYONE COME TO ME!"

The two individual teams came to Master Hand.

"OK THE FIRST ONE TO BRING ME A STICK WINS!"

Suddenly Nana gave Master Hand her hammer.

"GOOD JOB! BUT NOW SINCE THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE EVEN AND YOU MAKE THIS UNEVEN YOU DIE!" Master hand yelled and poked her causing her to fly into the shark infested hot tub.

"OH HOW SAD! NOW FLUMMOX NEEDS TO VOTE SOMEONE OFF!"

Fox suddenly pointed at Dr. Mario.

"KILL HIM!" he screamed.

Falco just turned over to him and slapped him.

"YOU MORON! Dude Dr. Mario is our DOCTOR!" Falco said but none of this sank in to Fox.

"THAT'S THE ONLY VOTE SO DR. MARIO IS GONE!" Master Hand yelled and Falco just slapped his face… and Dr. Mario exploded.

"OK NOW IT'S THE QUICK QUESTION ROUND!… WHATS 2+2!"

"Umm… is that even relevant?" Y. Link asked.

"YES! NOW I VOTE YOU OFF! HA!" Master Hand yelled.

"Oh fine… BYE EVER…" but Y. Link was suddenly shot in the head by Master Hand.

"WOW! AND TEAM CORPULENT WINS!" Master Hand yelled after everyone went back to their 'camps'

"IS THAT EVEN FAIR!" Falco cried out but then the 'campsite' imploded ending up in lots of blood and gore.

"WOW! NOW EVERYONE VOTE AND THE LEAST VOTED DUDE WINS!" Master Hand said.

Gannondorf, Marth, Pikachu, DK, the Ice Climber, and Roy all went in one at a time and voted.

"THEY ALL SAY POPO? WELL I GUESS THIS MEANS GANNONDORF WINS!"

Suddenly everyone else popped.

"YOU WON THE TRIFORCE!" Master Hand said.

"SWEET! I CAN FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD! WOOT!" Gannondorf started dancing.

"HAHA JUST KIDDING! ITS MINE!" Master Hand yelled and slapped Gannondorf into the floor leaving a blood stain and nothing more.

"COME BACK LATER FOR MORE FUN!" Master Hand said to the camera as it faded away… or at least tried.

"CRAZY HAND ARE YOU OPERATING THE CAMERA SYSTEM AGAIN!" Master Hand yelled.

"WELL… HEHE… YOU WERE… MORE CRAZY THAN ME! HOW DARE YOU! THAT IS MY INSANITY LEVEL! THAT'S JUST WRONG! I DEMAND YOU LOWER YOUR INSANENESS RIGHT THIS INSTANT! NOW! ARG! BLEH! YOU SUCK! MONKEYS PWN! I ONCE STUCK A PINEAPPLE UP A SNAIL! THAT SNAIL GOT HUGE! HAHAHA!…" Crazy Hand kept ranting but finally Master Hand found the 'fade away' button and pressed it ending the show.

* * *

YAY!

IS THAT LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU SICK FREAKS!

Ok good now…

I have to go and I don't even need to stick words here in order for it to look longer… BYE!

Ah what the hay lets find a way to shove some more words into the document…

I read THIS on a diff website… it pwns…

Proof that girlseviler than evil

Girlstime + money

Timemoney

Girlsmoney + money

Moneythe root of all evil

Girlstwice the root of all evil

TADA!

Ok that's a thing… don't get offended though… OH and my friend made a quote… wanna hear it?

"I lost my virginity once… but I found it the next day" -Maku 2005

Oh and this is a quote from a newgrounds flash animation… if you've seen it good job…

"My love for you is like my quiver of arrows… never-ending" -Legendary Frog as Legolas ?

Ok how is that… and in case you were caring this lasted for 5 whole pages… I haven't don't that since the first time I came to this website… YAY!… ok fine I have… BUT ITS RARE!

R&HA Read and Heat Ass… oh my…


	8. FAMILY FUED

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 8! Family Feud!**

Disclaimer: I do not own the fact that you hate me! I don't own this game show… I do not own Palestine… I do not own vaudeville

Reviews: what?

**SOME ANIME FREAK**: why must you people insist on flaming deaths! Why are you so mental! Oh and have a cold pizza while I'm at it…

**Eternal Smasher**: you are a nice person… then again you are mental… HOW DO I KNOW YOU AREN'T PLANNING ON USING ME TO FURTHER YOUR PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION!

**Numdenu**: wow… you should be shot for my insolence… but we can discuss that one later over a nice hot cup of Roy-blood…

**razzkat**: wow… you predicted the next one I was going to do! You should have a cookie!… but if that's what you want go talk to Numdenu not me… she gives more cookies away than I give… bras… away…

**Wondering Girl**: really! You liked the call! Good cause I spent 74 hours planning that thing. In a will? that's like… so bad its not even a typo! ITS WHILE! HOW DO YOU GET THAT WRONG! YOU HAVE TERRIBLE GRAMMER (gasp! He didn't!) oh he DID! GET HIM!… oh crud…

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

You all keep half… go figure it and get back to me…

I can… umm… bye!… oh now I remember… this is cool… but I will be taking a 10 day vacation to Washington! So… see you in a LONG while… (by my standards at least)

REEL BIG FISH!

* * *

"WELCOME TO FAMILY FEUD! TODAY WE WILL HAVE FIGHTS TO THE DEATH AND A LOVELY GUESSING BOMB GAME!" Crazy Hand yelled. 

"psst! Hey Crazy… this is a question game not a physical contest game!" Master Hand whispered from off stage.

"OH!… WELCOME EITHER WAY!… LETS INTRODUCE THE FAMILIES!"

It went to the first family thing which read 'Bo-jangles' and showed: Mewtwo, Bowser, Link, Kirby, and Roy.

"Do I even KNOW you?" Roy asked pointing at Mewtwo.

"Hey… Mewtwo… I know I'm not related to you or anything but… since when was your last name Bo-jangles! I mean… dude that's SOOO lame…" Bowser said.

Link and Kirby were busy in a fast paced game of Kirby tilt-N-tumble… of course Kirby wasn't having that much fun…

"OUCH! HEY YOU MORON DON'T GO THER… OWY! YOU ARE SOO MEAN… OUCH! WAA!" Kirby cried as he rolled around.

The second area read 'Kazzjaf' and had: Dr. Mario, Peach, Mario, Luigi, and Marth.

"Wait… how do I fit in here?" Marth asked looking puzzled and scratching his head.

"HA! I KNEW YOU WERE THE KAZZJAF!" Peach yelled at Dr. Mario as he just sighed in annoyance.

Mario and Luigi were in the middle of a game named… 'Luigi tilt-N-snapthatdoesntbendthatwayow'… Luigi of course… was screaming in pain.

"HAHA! THIS IS FUN!" Mario said as a cracking noise was heard.

"I NEED THAT TENDON!" Luigi cried as another PARTICULARLY loud snap suddenly silenced him.

"LETS GET READY TO RRUUMM… OH! LETS START THE… WHATEVER LETS JUST PLAY!"

Everyone sat in silence for a bit… except for Luigi who was drooling with his head cracked back… as if he was being held up by something… WAIT A MINUTE! IS THAT A POLE SHOVED UP THE… Oh dear Mario you are truly SICK!

Crazy hand floated over to the Bo-jangles first and shook Mewtwo's hand… ripping it cleanly off.

"OW! HEY I'M FRAGILE HERE!" Mewtwo yelled holding off the spurting blood with his psychic powers.

"SHUT UP! NOW LETS PLAY THE FEUD OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES!" Crazy Hand yelled as Mewtwo floated to the middle… along with Dr. Mario.

"NAME A SEXY BIRTHDAY PRESENT!" Crazy Hand yelled and Dr. Mario slapped the buzzer… sadly he slapped Mewtwo's buzzer and so Mewtwo got to go first.

"Umm… Lingerie" Mewtwo said.

DING!

"THAT'S RIGHT! ITS NUMBER 1923 ON THE LIST!" Crazy Hand yelled as Mewtwo just stared at him.

"I thought you only surveyed 100 people though!" Mewtwo yelled.

"WE RECENTLY MOVED UP TO 12!" Crazy Hand yelled leaving Mewtwo there to ponder.

"DOCTER! WHAT IS IT!" Crazy Hand yelled as Dr. Mario rubbed his mustache.

"I think… PEANUT BUTTER!" Dr. Mario said.

Mewtwo started trying to roll on the floor and laugh but he floats so this ended up in him straining a… we don't know yet.

DING!

"ITS NUMBER 4!" Crazy hand yelled, "THAT MEANS YOU GET TO CHOOSE! GO FIRST! OR PASS!"

"WE WANT TO GO FOR IT!" Dr. Mario yelled as everyone cheered.

"OK WHAT DO YOU THINK! PEACH!" Peach just sat there looking off into space…

"Oh… um… Lipstick!" Peach yelled.

DING!

"THAT'S RIGHT! NUMBER 23!" Crazy Hand yelled. "NOW HOW ABOUT YOU MARIO!"

Mario looked up and thought for a second… because that's about all the time there is to think in these games.

"CONDOMS!" Mario yelled.

DING!

"NUMBER 24678865324589964121236789083 ON THE LIST!" Crazy Hand yelled not even phased by the fact that he just said such a long hard number perfectly.

It next went to Luigi.

"SAME QUESTION!… I THINK! IT BETTER BE! CAUSE I SPENT A LONG TIME MEMORIZING IT!"

Luigi drooled a bit.

DING!

"DROOL IS NUMBER 1 ON THE LIST! YOU WIN! CONGRATULATIONS!"

With this the Bo-jangle 'family' stood up and started to protest about how the game was done all wrong.

Suddenly a rabid giant meat grinder ate the Bo-jangle family.

"NOW YOU HAVE TO PICK TWO PEOPLE FOR THE LAST FUN THING!"

"I VOTE MARTH OFF THE ISLAND!" Peach screamed.

"What the crud are you talking about?…" Marth asked but was flung off into the distance… well at least that would be the case if there was a distance to fling off into… but a wall got in his way.

SPLAT!

"I VOTE PEACH OFF THE ISLAND!" Dr. Mario screamed and Peach flew off into the one hole in that wall and into the distance… which was filled with crazy rabies infected pizza… she was torn to pieces.

"I VOTE DR. MARIO OFF THE ISLAND!" Mario screamed and Dr. Mario was almost flung into the distance… but his board malfunctioned and he ended up bashing his head into his microphone impaling himself.

"THAT LEAVES MARIO AND LUIGI FOR THE DOOHICKY!" Crazy Hand yelled and Mario walked off to a sound proof room.

"OK LUIGI YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS TO ANSWER THESE 5 QUESTIONS!… GO!… MOUSE BLANK!…"

Everyone sat there and sat there… 15 seconds was over and no points had been gained.

Mario came running back in and when he noticed the scoreboard he had to rip Luigi's head off in anger… it didn't matter though… Luigi was dead in the first place.

"WOW MARIO! YOU ARE A SICK FREAK! PREPARE TO GAIN 200 POINTS! OR DIE TRYING! AND YOU WILL DIE! CAUSE I AM THE MASTER OF SOMETHING! I THINK… I AM THE MASTER OF TEN ELASTIC RUBBER BANDS AND A SONIC TRINKET I GOT FROM A HAPPY MEAL AT MCDONNALDS!"

Mario sat there.

"20 SECONDS TO ANSWER 5 QUESTIONS! GO! HO! HAHA! OH WAIT… MAKE THAT 15 SECONDS!… MOUSE BLANK!"

"MAN" Mario screamed out.

"HOW OLD ARE PEOPLE WHEN THEY CAN FIRST DO A BACK FLIP!"

" 73!" Mario said.

"WHAT IS THE FUNNEST WEBSITE ON THE PLANET!"

"QUIZILLA!" Mario yelled as the crowd laughed at him for such a moronic choice.

"BEST CHILDRENS BOOK!"

"MICHAEL JACKSON: A LIFE HISTORY!" Mario yelled.

"WORLDS FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO!"

"BLUE!" Mario yelled as the buzzer sounded.

"HAHA! LETS SEE HOW YOU DID! OR NOT! NO ONE CARES! BUT I DON'T DIGRESS! LETS GET THIS OVER WITH!" Crazy Hand yelled and they looked at the score board.

"OH THEY WERE ALL THE BEST ANSWER! THAT PUTS YOU AT 35 POINTS! NOT ENOUGH THOGUH!" Crazy Hand yelled and gave him an overly huge check that read '$100'.

As Crazy Hand handed the huge check to Mario he was crushed under the weight.

"YAY! YOU WIN! BE HAPPY! OH BOY! NEXT TIME I PROMISE I MIGHT MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH! MAYBE! LETS SEE!"

* * *

YAY! 

Well that's that… maybe…

But in any case I have more stuff coming up… suggestions are always appreciated even though it might be on the list… it might not be and I would rather you err on the side of me.

"When life hands me lemons… I make beef stew" -Andy Milonakis 2005

R&R Rest and Rape… No better way to spend your life than that now is there…

"Romance fics are nothing but an excuse for perverts to have fun" -Joeb The Great -2005

---(long annoying 'explanation' goes here… but if you actually want one then you aren't worth my time)---

BLEH! BLAH! BLOH! BLUH! BLIH! BLYH!

How was that MOM!


	9. HOLLYWOOD SQUARES!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 8! Hollywood Squares!**

Disclaimer: I own nothing… I do not own the fact that I went on a vacation and got back 2 days early due to my professional whining skills… but I do own professional whining skills… so that's cool…

Reviews: oh my that's a lot…

**SOME ANIME FREAK**: tell your sister she is fat… then fry me up some KFC!… oh fine your right subway is better… oh what… BLEH!

**Eternal Smasher**: fun stories by you!… but what… no actually I don't… how sad… YOU SHOULD BE SHOT FOR MY INSOLENSE! Or however you spell that…

**razzkat**: now that I am finished with the chicken dance… I will… what?… hmm… BYE!

**Wondering Girl**: ok I'm done teasing you… mostly because I find you boring… I will yawn at your funeral…

**Tiger guy/girl/it/mother**: thank you for calling have a nice day… oh and I am sorry that you ended up with my stupid answer… why… BONBONS! ME LIKEY BONBONS! ME LIKEY BONBONS!

**Pirate Goddess chick**: thank you… just so you know that actually comes from a real life experience involving a friend… how sad indeed… actually we laughed for days… then the funeral came up and my mom told me its rude to laugh… maybe that pissing on a grave is why I went to jail after all and it wasn't a race issue… oh whatever…

**DPL (dumb protestant loser)**: cool, I like dead bodies!…

**Druid freak**: WHAT DO YOU MEAN 7 WASN'T MY BEST WORK! HOW DARE YOU! 7 WAS MY FAVORITE ONE SINCE… 6!… mostly because I don't have that good of a memory though…

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

Half keeps whole, the whole keeps half… if you get that then good… but I refuse to let you know what half gets it…

Well I made it back… and I am ready to laugh… but sadly I wont… because its all… what… I forgot…

REEL BIG FISH!

* * *

"Way down… mark the grave… where the headlights saw us drinking by the mausoleum door… and they SAW YOU ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR!" Joeb sang in the recording studios when everyone started staring at him.

"Oh… umm… My Chemical Romance… umm… ON WITH THE SHOW!" Joeb screamed pointing to the stage when he suddenly fell down a randomly placed window well cracking his neck as a blood curtailing scream came from the well… followed by silence… followed by the creepy yet satisfying sound of rats eating flesh.

"WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD SQUARES! WHERE SQUARES FROM HOLLYWOOD ARE THROWN INTO THE REAL WORLD!… OH!… WHATEVER! ON WITH THE SHOW!" Master Hand yelled.

A big wall popped up with these people on it (starting with the top left and going to the right)

Bowser, DK, Gannondorf.

Link, Marth, Roy.

Pichu, Jigglypuff, Kirby.

"Why do I have to be the middle one?" Marth asked.

"BECAUSE YOU ARE THE MOST SQUARE OF ALL SQUARES!" Master Hand replied causing Marth to start crying.

"There There, Marth, I'm sure you have lots of freaked up fan girls after you either way…" Roy said as he tried to pat Marth on the back… but couldn't reach. Roy suddenly got a brilliant idea. He ripped his hand off from his wrist and threw it causing it to splat into Marths back. This just caused Marth to cry harder though.

"OH SHUT UP!" Link yelled and threw a bomb at Marth… causing him to pop. Link then tried to back away very slowly… but ended up falling off of the wall and slamming into the ground. Link was forever but a blood stain after that moment.

"OK! THE CONTESTANTS ARE!… MARIO! VERSUS! LUIGI!"

Mario and Luigi walked onto the screen.

"MARIO GETS 247,000 POINTS BECAUSE HE IS FAMOUS!" Master Hand Yelled causing Luigi to squeeze his fists in anger.

Roy tried to laugh but then fell over and died of blood loss.

Just then Bowsers square collapsed from weight and he landed on Pichu causing them both to splat in agony.

"MARIO GO FIRST! AND GET A SQUARE!"

"I want… GANNONDORF!"

Gannondorf laughed at the suggestive thoughts but then realized someone might actually take that seriously and cringed in fear.

"OK! GANNONDORF! HOW MUCH WOOD WHOULD A WOODCUCK CHUCK IF A WUDCHUCK CUD CHUCK WEED?"

Gannondorf thought for a minute and then hit the buzzer which really shouldn't be there because it is USELESS!

"BLUE!" Gannondorf yelled.

"FALSE!" Mario yelled.

"OH SO SORRY! BUT BLUE IS THE CORRECT ANSWER! YOU GET THE SQUARE ANYWAY BECAUSE NINTENDO LOVES YOU!" Master Hand yelled and Luigi screamed in anger… but forgot how to scream and his head ended up popping.

"OK LUIGI! WHAT IS SILENCE?" Master Hand asked.

Silence…

"TOO BAD YOU WERE RIGHT BUT WE STILL DON'T CARE!" Master hand yelled as DK and the middle slot collapsed killing him and Jigglypuff.

"AND MARIO WINS! HE WINS!… I DON'T KNOW YET!" Master Hand yelled and decided to shoot Kirby… but Kirby just ate the bullets.

"HOW SAD!" Master Hand said and then gave Mario the keys to the White House.

"CONGRATULATIONS! IF ANYONE TELLS YOU TO LEAVE JUST SHOOT THEM WITH THIS!" He said and pulled out a flamethrower but didn't know how to work it… plus the fact that he's a creepy clumsy hand… so he ended up lighting himself on fire and burning Mario to a crisp.

"MWAHAHAHA!" Gannondorf screamed as he spun in circles… then got dizzy and tripped and fell off the wall.

"WELL I GUESS THAT'S A…" but then Master Hand melted.

Silence…

More silence…

"DISH ALL YOU WANT BUT WHO'S GONNA SAVE ME! I KEEP A GUN IN THE BOOK YOU GAVE ME! HALLELUIAH LOCK AND LOAD!" Joeb sang listening to more My Chemical Romance.

"Hey didn't you die?" Mewtwo asked from the directors booth.

"Oh no… I have a tolerance for man-eating rats… but don't worry… I will soon…" but just then Joeb was shot by all the offended 'victims' of America and sent on a rubber boat to Alaska.

"MWAHAHA! NOW I AM IN TOTAL CONTROL!" Mewtwo laughed before Zelda, who is now married to Mewtwo, stormed in and yelled at him to clean the bathroom.

"OH SCREW THIS! I THOUGHT YOU WERE AWSOME! BUT NOW I KNOW OF THE…" But then the 100,000 stories of building that all of this takes place in collapsed.

As the screen fades away we witness a small pink ball floating away from the rubble… but then right before all turns black we watch in horror as he is sliced up by a passing helicopter.

* * *

YAY!

Ok I really don't think that is the best I have ever done… but oh well I just got back from a crappy vacation and need time to learn how to think…

So now I will tell you that I hate Utah… but Idaho is even crappier…

R&MCR READ AND MEET CHRIS'S RUM!

Oh! my quote! "you should be shot for my insolence!" -JoebTheGreat 2005

Oh fine its not the best but oh well...


	10. THE PRICE IS NOT RIGHT!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 28! The Price is Completely Wrong in an Almost Absolute Manor!**

Disclaimer: I own nothing… except 847 body fat… which was thought physically impossible until now (that's a lie just in case you are a moron)

Reviews: DO I CARE!

**Eternal Smasher**: I may have two part 8s but the fact is those are parts not chapters… basically I can do WHAT I WANT!

**razzkat**: that's sad… and if they delete this I will simply get a good friend of mine to hack them… (oh dear I could be banned for saying that) oh fine I would never do such a thing… but they just better not mess with me… I WILL KILL ALL WHO ATTEMPT TO STEAL MY FREEDOMS!

**Wondering Girl**: I would say I miss you if I missed movies… but I really don't miss movies so I don't miss you… and the trip sucked… but I'll get over that

**Pirate Goddess chick**: yes… I HAVE died of everything known to mankind… or for the creeps that wont get off my back… people-kind as there happens to be a SLIGHT teeny weenie little bit more women than men on earth… maybe…

**DPL**: you didn't review but I would like to say I am entirely completely sorry for calling you a name that was mean and demeaning… but I will do it again to someone… SO HA!

**Druid with no xp**: you cant take gold stars from me… I OWN ALL GOLD STARS AND RESERVE THE RIGHT TO ANYTHING!… and now I slap you, you earned a place in the story!… don't cry though…

**Numdenu**: HEY! YOU DIDN'T DRINK THAT ROY BLOOD! HE SACRIFICED FOR YOU AND NOW YOU GO OFF AND JUST IGNORE IT! HOW DARE YOU!

**pkmn7haku123**: YAY! I changed the life of one person… REEL BIG FISH PWN ALL!… although I do not have that particular CD… oh crap… (goes out and buys 'Cheer Up!')

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

Druid gets nothing… HAHA… oh and I steal back all of the crap you've EVER stolen from me… that's right… that purple toothpick of mine that was build from magic pixy bones IS MINE AGAIN!

pkmn7haku123 can have druid's stars… and his TV

Sorry about a long break… school starts tomorrow and I must… something… hmm…

REEL BIG FISH!

* * *

"WELCOME TO THE PRICE IS WRONG! ITS TRUE! ITS WRONG! THESE PRICES ARE SO WRONG ITS MORE OF A RANDOM NUMBER GUESSING GAME THAN A COMMON SINCE GAME! AND FOR THOSE WHO CARE! I HAVE RECENTLY STARTED A JIHAD AGAINST ANTARTICA!" Crazy Hand yelled as a crowd filled with people labeled 'crowed for hire… by Wal-Mart' applauded and screamed and hooted and jeered and booed and cheered and laughed and oozed and puked.

"TODAYS CONTESTANTS ARE STERIOTYPICAL SWORDSMEN FROM FAKE LANDS THAT HAVE RECENTLY BEEN DESTROYED BY CRAZY BANNANA PEOPLE WITH GREEN DAY TATOOS!" Crazy Hand continued as the crowd pretended to care.

Roy walked on screen and bowed so low his back snapped and he fell over dead.

Link walked on screen and he waived his sword proudly and ended up accidentally killing his fairy… (whoever you want to imagine was his fairy at the time… even if it isn't one that was ACTUALLY his fairy… in fact you could pretend the fairy was mister Rodgers if you were on crack or something…) this caused him to scream in terror and then start crying as the crowed laughed like 'civilized' people would.

"This is SOO lame…" Druid2457642366312155763 said waiving his eyes and circling his hands… of course doing such a thing causes extreme lactose phobia of the botanical acetified degree which is a rare form of cancer which you can get by waiving eyes and circling hands as a person infected with extreme lactose phobia of the botanical acetified degree passes gas at exactly 147 meters distance from you… it causes you to loose weight at exactly 12457 lbs a minute… this caused an implosion to happen where Druid2457642366312155763 used to be… the entire crowed was wiped out… leaving blood and hats everywhere.

Marth walked on screen with a dictionary reading as hard as he could.

"HEY! YOU CANT USE THAT HERE! IT'S A CHEATING MATERIAL!" Crazy Hand screamed.

"How am I supposed to cheat with a DICTIONARY when this is a PRICE NAMING GAME!" Marth yelled… but as soon as he was finished 50 wire frames ran up and made off with the dictionary… being wire frames they did not have the structural integrity to retain the significant weight of such a substantial load of manuscript… and so they all malformed in a futile attempt purloin the writings.

"I am probably the only one who understands that as most people on Fanfiction don't even recognize fundamental words" Marth said as Link just slapped him quiet as he had a relatively copious headache from all the sizeable and significant words.

(yes many of those words should be obvious… but just so you know my spell check doesn't have a problem with this yet)

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" Link cried as he lay in the fetal position whining and rocking back and forth sucking his thumb.

Y. Link walked on screen holding a bottle of Lon-Lon Milk. To Y. Links disappointment the milk slipped out of his hand and crashed on the ground. As Y. Link cried a bunch of cats ran up and started licking the milk from the ground… sadly there was glass mixed in with this milk and the cats exploded… we still don't know why.

Gannondorf walked on screen and waived his tri-force of power as people questioned the aptitude of his being here.

"THAT'S RIGHT! I USE A SWORD!… ALTHOUGH I NEVER GOT TO PULL IT OUT ON SSBM BECAUSE THE PRODUCERS WERE TOO MENTAL TO GIVE ME AN ORIGANAL MOVE SET!" Gannondorf yelled and held his hand in the air. Sadly he dropped his tri-force of power into a inconveniently placed blender… causing him to shrivel in pain turning into a lurpy green stick-figure.

"NOOO!" Gannondorf cried before he shriveled into dust.

"HAHA! SPEAKING OF WITCH! OR WHICH! WHICHEVER YOU DECIDE I SHOULD SAY!… THE BLENDER YOU JUST WATCHED CRUNCH UP GANNONDORFS TRI-FORCE OF POWER IS OUR FIRST ITEM!… HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK IT IS WORTH!" Crazy Hand yelled to the contestants.

"$734.83!" Link yelled… obviously he has no clue about the worth of dollars as he has used rupees for all his life… of course he has no clue about rupees either as he lives in a world where randomly slicing bushes, killing soldiers, and other miscellaneous tasks can make people rich.

"$20" Marth guessed.

"A BABIES SOUL!" Y. Link yelled out as everyone stared at him in horror.

"HAHA!… WELL IT LOOKS LIKE MARTH HAD HIS DICTIONARY OUT SO HIS GUESS WONT COUNT!… OF COURSE THAT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE Y. LINK GUESSED CORECTLY!… WE BOUGHT THIS PARTICULAR MODEL OF BLENDER USING A BABIES SOUL…" Crazy Hand yelled as the crowd gasped… of course there was no crowd so there was no gasping.

"Y. LINK HAS EARNED A FREE GIRLFRIEND!" Crazy Hand yelled. Just then a squad of crazy looking freaks that on first glance you would think were men (think sheik… actually sheik is there… WOW!) busted into the room with mini-guns… the guns were so mini that they couldn't fit bullets into them and so ended up just shoving needles in the barrels.

"YOU CANT SELL GIRLS!" Sheik screamed.

"YEA!… AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT YOU CANT DO ANYTHING THAT SLIGHTLY OFFENDS ANY GIRL IN AMERICA EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW YOU ARE OFFENDING THEM!" some random freak yells before getting slapped by Sheik.

"Now now… equality and stuck up bitch are two different things… AND WE ARE STUCK UP BITCHES!" Sheik said before Crazy Hand just shot them all with missiles and got back to the game.

"OK! NOW WE WILL LOOK AT THIS ENGLISHMAN! HOW MUCH IS HE WORTH!"

"YOUR MOM!" Link screamed and then burst out laughing… then his heart burst out.

"SEVEN CENTS!" Marth yelled.

"YO MAMA!" Y. Link yelled.

"WELL… WHAT I WANT TO KNOW BEFORE I ANSWER THAT IS THIS… WHY DID LINK SCREAM AND YOU TWO JUST YELL!"

"Maybe because he died and we didn't…" Y. Link said.

"YES!… THAT'S IT!… WHATEVER!… MARTH SINCE YOU PUT THE DICTIONARY AWAY YOU GET IT… AN ENGLISHMAN IS WORTH NOTHING AND YOUR GUESS WAS THE LOWEST!" Crazy Hand yelled.

"I find that quite ruefully discomforting and courteously inquire an equitable contrition" some random British dude said because as we all know Brits are obsessive smart asses.

"Actually its probably because the author is Irish… and hates England simply because of that fact" Marth said…

And that's true…

Oh well…

"AND SINCE YOU TWO ARE TIED… AND I LIKE Y. LINK MORE… BECAUSE HE WEARS GREEN… Y. LINK WINS AND GOES ON FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A CHICKEN NUGGET!" Crazy Hand yelled and Marth's section of the floor opened and he fell to a spiky doom Mortal Kombat style… of course this took a long time seeing as how you always get FOREVER to choose to continue.

"OK Y. LINK! NOW THAT WE GOT RID OF THE DICTIONARY READING FOOL… HOW MUCH IS A WOODCHUCK WHO CHUCKS WOOD… DRIVING IN A PINK FERRARI MADE OUT OF CHEESE WITH SIX CHIPMUNK GANGSTAS WORTH!"

"A housewife…" Y. Link said after 27 hours of hard thinking.

"THAT'S TRUE… BUT WE RAN OUT OF TIME 26 HOURS AGO!… YOU GET NOTHING!… GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!… NOW!…" Crazy Hand screamed as he started blinking red.

Y. Link started running as fast as he could to get out of the house… but seeing as Crazy Hands house had 245 stories and they were on the 245 one he didn't make it in the minute he was given… and so they all blew up.

(AN: oh and just so you know… we held this in Crazy Hands house because our HUGE studio was destroyed last chapter… and Joeb is still on that rubber raft to Alaska.)

"OH COOL!" Mewtwo said from the directors booth as he had taken the Game Show business over with Joebs random defeat.

(somewhere in the North Pacific Ocean)

"I'm… So… Cold…" Joeb said as he cuddled with his teddy bear named 'Kazzjaf'

"Me… two…" Kazzjaf said.

Suddenly a large purple spaceship landed right on the raft and they all blew… (not up though)

* * *

YAY!…

I don't have time to add this part on though…

I'm in a hurry to get to bed so I can be at school on time tomorrow…

YAY!…

Oh and the advertisements are still alive just be patient with this busy son of a bitch


	11. THE DATING GAME FOR DESPERATE LOSERS

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part I forget! The Dating Game For Desperate Losers!**

Disclaimer: I do not own my sister… I do not own A sister… no one owns their sisters… some people I know pwn their sisters though…

Reviews: ITS FUNNY!

**Eternal Smasher**: THANKS! I guess that's it… ACUTALLY I'M BETTER THAN YOU SO THAT'S NOT IT! Ok NOW that's it…

**razzkat**: YAY!… well you haha…ed to much… so NOW you will pop… WHY ARNT YOU INTERESTING! PLEASE BE INTERESTING!

**Wondering Girl**: I don't care if I'm mean… my homework has been 1 paragraph stuff… so whatever… and the social life of High School is basically oh hi… blah blah… I'm a punk am I cool yet?

**Pirate Goddess chick**: I find it really sad Englishmen arn't worth anything… after all Ireland has to put up with them and everything… oh well…

**DPL**: you didn't review but it was a promise… DPL (Deranged Poe Licker)

**Druid slightly SOME xp**: that's OK… I give you the comments back… except the attempted stealing of my GOLD STARS! ARG! WAA! WOSH!… oh well I saw a story that STOLE my gold star system so I will tell you guys about that later…

**Numdenu**: I'm telling Roy you drank his blood! OOH he's gonna be MAD!

**RoyalFanatic**: thanks… I'm mentally challenged too… do you like me now… (YOU ARE SO OFFENSIVE!)

**Bunny freak**: I hate when login doesn't work… oh well… if I'm not logged in at the time I just say screw it…

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

pkmn7haku123 gets nothing… at all… (he stole the gold star system)

Ok here's the thing… his story… (I forgot the name) which you can look up on chapter 4 or something to read about… STOLE the gold stars… he said "ok I got one review which means you guys are reading so I'm gonna bribe you with gold stars!"… this comes after I had set the thing up… HOW DARE YOU!

Sorry about my sister… she forgot her name… and doesn't even live with me… so why am I talking again?

INSANE CLOWN POSSE! (no I'm not a Juggalo… I just like ICP… why do people think you need to know EVERY little detail about the backstage band to like their music… oh well… oh and I wonder how many people here will be mad at me for liking them… oh well)

* * *

"GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO THAT DATING GAME FOR DESPERATE LOSERS!" Master Hand yelled to a screaming crowd… of course most of them were screaming out insults so that wasn't exactly that good…

"TODAY SOME LADY WILL BE FORCED INTO CHOOSING BETWEEN THE 3 CRAPPIEST PEEPS WE COULD FIND!"

Zelda walked on stage throwing flowers around… sadly they were roses and the thorns caught some dude in the crowd right above the eye… he died.

"HAHA! HOW WONDERFUL!… NOW… HERE ARE THE THREE CONTESTANTS!" Master Hand yelled and it switched to some covered rooms.

Man #1 was Link… he was in an all green room.

"YAY… IM GONNA WIN ZELDA! IM GONNA WIN ZELDA!" he jumped up and down in obsessive love.

Then it switched to man #2… it was Gannondorf.

"What?… ALL I WANT IS SOME DANCE LESSONS GOD DAMNIT!"

Then its switched to man #3... This was Pichu.

"PI-PI-PI-PICHU-CHU PI" he yelled and since you don't deserve it you can go to hell and not hear this stuff… bitch. (I'm pissed because I am obligated to Fanfiction and peeps don't respect true crazyness… so I will soon take up claymation)

"OK BACK TO ZELDA!" Master Hand yelled but the seat was empty as the camera zoomed to her.

"SHIT… WHERE DID SHE GO?" Master Hand asked.

(in a safari in Africa)

"Ooh cool… IM IN ASIA!" Zelda said as the tour guide slapped her.

"WERE IN AFRICA YOU MORON!"

(back to the real area)

"OH DEAR!… OH WHATEVER WE CAN SETTLE FOR JIGGLYPUFF!" Master Hand yelled and Jigglypuff ran up to the stage jumping up and down excitedly.

That is until the contestants realized what just happened.

"NO!" they all cried as the game show started.

"OK THEN!… JIGGLYPUFF… ASK YOUR QUESTIONS!"

"Umm… if I was stolen by some diabolical genius and he planned to make me into an ice cream flavor… what would you do #1?"

"I-I'd… LEAVE YOU… yes that's it… get that blob away from me!… I WOULD LET YOU BE TORTURED FOREVER!"

Jigglypuff just shrieked in joy.

"I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE AN ICE CREAM FLAVOR!" and Link just slapped his face and moaned… turning Jigglypuff on.

"OH! I CHOOSE NUMBER ONE! I WANT NUMBER ONE! DO ME NUMBER ONE!" Jigglypuff screamed as Link ran out of his booth as fast as he could screaming.

"WELL YOU COMPLETELY IGNORED THE OTHER CONTESTANTS SO NOW LINK IS SCREWED… I MEAN!… LUCKY!" Master Hand yelled to Jigglypuff as a bunch of wire frames held Link down as Jigglypuff came closer singing her ever annoying song.

(Scene deleted for bad content)

Link then woke up… screamed… and jumped out a window…

"What was his deal?" Zelda asked… but then Pichu started bouncing up and down on the chair when it broke and one of the legs impaled him.

"WELL ZELDA!… IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE TO TAKE #2! IS HE GOOD?"

Gannondorf walked out in all his dark glory.

"Nah… I'd rather have a man who could protect me…" Zelda said and started to walk into the sunset… but since they are in a HUGE building… she ended up as a blood stain.

"WELL GANNONDORF! I GUESS THAT MEANS WE HAVE TO GO OUT!" Master Hand yelled and dove at Gannondorf.

The crowd just laughed and clapped… then they started clapping harder… then the clapping movements got so wide they ended up slapping their neighbors in the face… everyone was knocked out simultaneously… the noise from the sudden clap caused the audience section to collapse and millions pretended to lose their lives so that they could save on insurance.

"YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME… YOU CANT KILL ME!" Gannondorf cried before a laser shot through his leg.

"OK OK! YOU CAN KILL ME! OW THAT HURTS!" Gannondorf screamed in pain holding his bloody leg.

"TUNE IN NEXT TIME! FOR… WHEN FAT PEOPLE ATTACK!" Master Hand yelled before getting impaled by a semi truck.

* * *

YAYNESS!

Ooh and guess what… I hate a lot of people…

BUT… even though this shall die soon and so will many others… be happy… I have more on the way… I just think the constant repeats are annoying… but I have more coming and DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY… sheesh ya freak…

Well at least my real friends are cool…

Hmm… k that's it then… bye…


	12. NEWLYWEDS

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part Blebildy! NEWLYWEDS!**

Disclaimer: I don't own… something… by now all the things I don't own should be adding up and I will have to stop owning things just so I can PUT something up here… oh and I don't own Spain… yet

Reviews: W00t vs. WOOT vs. w00t vs. W00T vs. vv()()t vs. w00T

**Eternal Smasher**: I don't remember what day you said that but whatever I probably read it…

**razzkat**: I already drink glue so that didn't help… BE MORE HELPFUL NEXT TIME!

**Pirate Goddess chick**: Its ok… most of us wish we were an ice cream flavor… only some of us have the courage to force our soul into the ingredients though… we'll make it through this together…

**Druid… I think**: now now… don't let some stupid little xp bother you… GO ALL THE WAY FOR GOLD STARS!… ok fine have some… take 5...

**RoyalFanatic**: HEY!… I WANT TO BE MORE MENTALLY CHALLENGED THAN EVERYONE ELSE!

**Bunny freak**: wow… that was short in a land of people sending all kinds of creepy comments… GOOD JOB!… of course some day you might meet you maker… a.k.a. Pocahontas

**Some freaky demon**: YOUR HEAD EXPLODED!… oh dear… please oh PLEASE don't sue me… NO!

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

You all keep 5...

Oh fine… that pkmn7haku123 I think that's it if I got it without looking I'm close enough to 90 in IQ to be happy… ANYWAY… I'm fine with your gold star stealing… as long as it's a REASONABLE amount… if you start giving stuff like 100 and 90 then I will have to go into the thousands… and I don't like making people THAT happy… oh and about the fact that your story isn't read that much, well my first story was done a WAY long time ago and its only got like… 7 reviews not counting mine… and this is AFTER I became some sort of freak people actually like… so I know how you must feel… ooh and since you said Reel Big Fish at the end of your review… HAVE 12 GOLD STARS!… well that's a lot for this story anyway…

DUDE I JUST RANTED!… COOL!

Alright are you sick of me yet… good…

REEL BIG FISH!… and Utah sucks for trying to find their CD's so oh whatever… and my writing application wont let me write CD's without that apostrophe or whatever so SHUT UP!

* * *

Narrator: "ITS TIME FOR THAT WONDERFUL EVENT… WHERE A NEWLYWED COUPLE GETS SAVAGELY RIPPED APART AND CRUSHED!"

"YAY!… IM KILLING MARRIAGE!" Crazy Hand yelled floating yet bouncing at the same time.

"UM… I THINK ITS… YEA WHATEVER SEND IN THE VICTEMS!" Crazy Hand yelled and 4 couples fell from the ceiling and slapped into their seating… places… sadly Pichu couldn't stand the fall and was ripped apart on impact.

"NOO!… MY LOVE!… WHY!" Bowser cried and tried to stab himself in the gut… but couldn't because of his shell and so he just sat there and cried. (don't you all just think those two were made for each other!)

"YAY! DRAMA… HAHAHA I'D HATE TO BE HIM BACK HOME TOMORROW!… HERES THE OTHER FREAKS!"

Mario and Peach stood up and smiled…

"THEY GOT MARRIED FIVE DAYS AGO… AND ALREADY HAVE 72 BABIES!" Crazy Hand started laughing uncontrollably and did a back flip. "YOU GUYS ARE HORN DOGS!"

Luigi was in the audience though so he screamed and threw a pineapple which Crazy Hand ended up shoving into his palm pretending to eat it.

"YUM YUM OW SHANE GREW!"

"REALLY! SHANE GREW! COOL!" Everyone shouted amazed that our wonderful Shane had grown.

"SHUT UP!… NEXT IS THESE FREAKS!"

Zelda and Sheik stood up and hugged each other… but because Sheik IS Zelda all we really see is Zelda hugging air.

"WOW!… I TRIED TO MARRY MYSELF TOO! BUT THE DUMB BITCH HAD TO SAY NO RIGHT AT THE ALTER!… WHATEVER!" Crazy Hand started doing the chicken dance despite the impossibility for a hand to do that.

Samus and C. Falcon stood up next.

"YAY!… BUT I THOGHT THAT THE CAPTAIN WAS A SICK PERVERTED FREAK THAT THINKS TOO MUCH OF HIMSELF AND HATES WOMEN!… CAUSE IM A CRAZY MORON!" Crazy Hand yelled and shook some random audience members hand crushing it and causing an ambulance to fly through the wall even though we are thousands of feet in the air… either way this ambulance ended up crushing who they were going for so they left.

"HAHA!" Samus yelled and joined in the fun sending a missile right into the head of poor Y. Link.

"YOU KILLED MY SISTER!" Link yelled and jumped from the top balcony but slapped into a conveniently placed trampoline and launched into the sun.

"What the hell just happened?" Peach asked as she had been trying once again to read the great novel… "ABC's with me"

"SCREW IT… LETS GET ON WITH THE SHOW!… GIRLS GET OUT OF HERE!… NOW!… LEAVE… THAT'S IT IM MAD… GET THE FOOBAR OUT BEFORE I HAVE TO…" but crazy hand stopped once he realized that all the girls had left… even Pichu somehow…

"WHATEVER… GUYS… WHAT DOES YOUR GIRL WANT FOR CHRISTMAS!"

Bowser went first… but he was too busy crying…

"TEARS?… WELL I GUESS THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID!… NEXT IS MARIO!…"

"HOOKED ON PHONICS!" Mario yelled accidentally setting fire to the strange pile of Pokeballs next to him.

Maril suddenly popped out of one screaming and flew off into the distance.

"WHATEVER!… NEXT IS YOU SHEIK!"

"Umm… some pie?" she said and everyone laughed.

"TELL US THE STORY BEHIND THAT!" Crazy Hand yelled as all eyes were on Sheik… except Bowser who was still crying.

"Umm… Zelda likes pie…" Sheik said nervous from all the eyes.

"ZELDA LIKES PIE… THAT IS GREAT!"

Everyone howled… then stopped with the freaky werewolf fetish and got back to normal.

"WHAT ABOUT YOU CAPTAIN NASTY!"

"I'd bet she wants a power-up storage system that doesn't end up breaking about 5 minutes into her missions" C. Falcon said as everyone just looked at him as if he had said something totally perverted.

"YOU SICK FREAK… WHAT 'POWERS' DO YOU WANT HER TO HAVE!" Crazy Hand yelled as everyone threw sharp objects… of course this crowd was wimpy and ended up hitting themselves and all died… even Luigi.

"WHATEVER… LETS BRING THE GIRLS BACK!"

The 3 living girls walked back… Pichu was thrown like some kind of rag doll and slapped into Bowsers spike… mutilating the corpse beyond recognition.

"NOO!" Bowser screamed.

"WOW… IT LOOKS LIKE THAT TEAM LOSES… HAHA!"

Suddenly Bowser and Pichu's section lit on fire and was sent down to the pits of hell.

"HAHA… WHAT A SAD ENDING!… NEXT IS PEACH… WE ASKED MARIO WHAT HE THINKS YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS!… WHAT DO YOU THINK HE SAID!"

"Umm… I WANT A SLAVE!" Peach yelled as no one gasped because sadly the stupid audience already died…

"NO… THAT'S NOT WHAT HE SAID… HAHA!… WELL I GUESS NOW YOU HATE EACH OTHER!"

"YOU SUCK!" Peach yelled and pulled out Toad and started beating him with it.

"OW… NO… WAIT PLEASE!" But Mario had been killed… and Toad had been thrown out the window… and so in the end Peach forgot how to talk.

"Tkeh kerh kthe klerl hejq lri" Peach asked as Crazy and tried to hold his brain.

"THIS SPEECH CONFUSES ME!… WHY!" Crazy hand then slapped Peach into a toilet and flushed her to Quebec.

"HAHA!… OK WHAT ABOUT YOU ZELDA!"

"Hmm… well I WOULD like a new dress that isn't the same thing with just a different color!"

"HAHA!… SHIEK SAID PIE!… AND APPARENTLY THE STORY IS… YOU LIKE PIE!"

"Umm… OK!… DO I GET A POINT NOW?" Zelda asked as she tried to wink and blink at the same time crushing her right eye.

"OUR SPONSERS SAID THAT'S FINE!… HAVE A POINT!"

So Zelda/Sheik got a point.

"NOW WHAT ABOUT YOU SAMUS!… WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS!"

"I'd probably want a power-up storage system that doesn't actually BREAK 5 minutes into the mission"

"AND YOU'RE OK WITH CAPTAIN PERVERTS WANTING THAT!… THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!… HE'S SO SICK!"

"Well just give us a point then… I'm perfectly fine…"

"WHAT!… OH JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT A POINT!… YOU SUCK!"

"Shut up…"

"WHATEVER THEN… MEN… LEAVE THE ROOM THIS INSTANT!"

All the men (1) ran into a trap where the pervert haters were… but sadly they weren't counting on him having a gun and that's the end of that.

"WHERE DOES YOU GUY LIKE DOING IT MOST!"

Zelda went first. "well… I'm pretty sure (s)he likes doing it on a trampoline!"

"YAY!… SO DO I!… BUT NO ONE EVER WANTS TO GET ON WITH ME… WHY!… WHATEVER NEXT UP IS SAMUS!"

"Umm… the bed" Samus said as Crazy Hand Gasped.

"YOU SICK FREAKS!… WHAT KIND OF NASTY FETISH IS THAT!… NO!… WHY!… SEND THE BOYS BACK!"

The BOY came back and sat next to Samus as Crazy Hand made a puking noise.

"SHEIK!… WHERE DO YOU LIKE DOING IT!"

"Umm… what does 'it' even mean…" Sheik asked.

"DOING BACK FLIPS OF COURSE!… WHAT ELSE COULD IT MEAN!"

"Oh… I see… I like doing back flips on top of cliffs!" Sheik said as another buzzer noise was heard.

"HAHA… I'M SHOCKED YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOURSELF ZELDA!… NEXT IS PERVERT BOY!"

"I like doing back flips on the bed…" C. Falcon said.

"YOU SICK FREAK!… HOW DARE YOU!… THAT'S IT IM DONE HERE!" and Crazy Hand launched a Pokeball at Samus/C. Falcon… it was a Goldeen.

"HAHA… GOLDEENS SUCK!" C. Falcon said and started jumping around it.

SUDDENLY!… THE GOLDEEN EXPLODED SENDING OUR HERO AND PERVERT GROUP OFF INTO THE DISTANCE WHERE THEY SUDDENLY VAPORIZED!"

"AND THAT MEANS THAT ZELDA WITH HERSELF WINS THE COMPETITION!"

A door opened revealing a moldy piece of bread.

"CONGRATULATIONS!… YOU EARNED THIS MOLDY PIECE OF BREAD!"

Zelda danced with Sheik… of course that means she is dancing with herself… then she tripped and slapped into the little people and in the end the entire room was blown away because Hurricane Katrina had shown up… sadly it only destroyed that room so we can still get on with the show…

* * *

YAY!…

Oh and I'm gonna do my new story soon… how soon!… as soon as one of my 3 story's I'm doing now dies!… ok so now that that's all taken care of you can be happy!

Oh and I'm gonna be doing clay-mation on Newgrounds… I'm hoping we can have (good) movies up by this year… probably around the holidays… but whatever…

Alright now what else can I say at this moment… hmm…

The clay-mating is actually going to be done by 4 of us… as will the voices and all that crap… so it better be good… we are named… TheBlebildyQuartet

Hmm…

I'm sorry this has taken so long… its just life goes by slower during school…

HAHA I HAVE 6 A's… then I have seminary which sucks… and then I have a C in English which I will make up on Monday… and all of this is TRUE so PWND!…

R&DYTH Read and Don't Yell Too Hard


	13. MATCH GAME!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part of the Kazzjaff… MATCH GAME!**

Disclaimer: I don't own the fact that facts cant be owned… I still pwn you though… not really… oh now my self esteem is really low!… WAA!

Reviews: these people are not legal in 13 states…

**Eternal Smasher**: you are very much not close to having seen everything… if you want to become closer… you must first search up Mr. Higgens on a completely not safe search and go to the fifth thing that pops up… trust me… then you will have seen a LOT more…

**razzkat**: dude… THAT WAS THE MOST HELPFUL THING!… thanks to you… my A got higher… now it's a F!… dude thank you SO MUCH!…

**Pirate Goddess chick**: you are in fact a very bad person… I pulled out a book called the 100 worst Americans… AND YOU WERE IN IT!… so what does that say about you… OH!

**Druid… I think**: oh dear… he didn't review… I guess those flaming pidgins I sent after him farted a little more than I expected…

**Bunny freak**: I need therapy?… guess what… everything I stated above this on the review section was a lie… this isn't… I have had 4 anger management classes completed (half year each)… 1 psychiatrist analyze me (one whole year of visits)… and been to juvenile hall (only for the weekend though)… and they all think I am completely normal and/or human… SO HA!… actually thanks for saying I'm funny… my mom says I'm possessed…

**Uhyeahitsteamdark**: thanks… but that's all I can say due to the fact that your reviews must never be answered… oh well…

**Deady dead dad**: YAY!… but you're a dad so I suggest you hide this sadistic side from them… YAY!

**Niyanna**: so… umm… yeah… look up at the Bunny freak's thing to know that stuff… and… well… no one loves me… WHY DOESN'T ANYONE LOVE ME!… IM GONNA BRING A GUN TO SCHOOL!

(sadly… after hearing about this… 15 FBI agents broke into his room and sent him to federal prison for this horrendous statement… where he was tortured for thinking about guns… but we figured we… the government… could finish this story up for him)

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

You all keep 5...

DADADA… why do I get the suspicion that FBI agents are gonna get me for that statement I made

(we think he is psychic… and cool… and we will soon control him to do anything and everything we want)

Oh well… TECHNO! PSYBOT! NEWGROUDS! If you can find the relationship between these things you pwn…

* * *

"HE RAPES LITTLE CHILDREN!… ITS GANNONDORF!"

Gannondorf waived to the crowd of screaming mothers who hid their sons and daughters inside their purses immediately… sadly then the children suffocated… so the moms just ate their young and got back to it.

"HE'S SMOKED MORE SHIT THAN SCIENTOLOGISTS… MARIO!"

Mario didn't look up because he was busy with his head under the desk and the sound of a bong going… as he slowly got bigger and bigger.

"SHE'S THE NEXT PUNK HIT… PEACH!"

Peach looked up and gave her twisted smile that says 'oh I'm going to make millions and then never help people but still complain about my life and how I don't get everything my way'

"HE'S SHOVED MORE THINGS DOWN HIS MOUTH THAN PARIS HILTON… KIRBY!"

Kirby gave out his horrific screech of "HII" to everyone… they immediately screamed as blood flowed from their ears and they fell over desperately grasping for some kind of earplug.

"HE USUALLY GOES TO SLEEP AT AROUND 9:00 PM SHARP AND WAKES UP AT 6:00... POPO!"

At this everyone that hadn't had their hearing completely mutilated laughed their heads off at Popo… after all… what kind of freak goes to bed at 9:00...

"SHE MAY BE HIS SISTER BUT STILL WANTS TO MARRY HIM… NANA!"

The people who could still hear now started puking and crying and now the audience only consisted of the scientologists who were busy calling their lawyers… and punk fans… calling their armies of lawyers… and fat people who had just come up with a new idea for suing McDonalds… and Peewee Herman.

"AND I'M YOUR HOST… MASTER HAND!" Master Hand laughed as he ran on stage… then realized its physically impossible and fell over crushing what few audience members remained.

"OH SHIT… umm… I MEAN… I'M HAPPY AND LETS ALL LAUGH!"

Gannondorf laughed because he realized he could rape the dead bodies of the children, Mario laughed because he was high, Peach laughed because she thought it might improve her ratings, Kirby laughed because he had just swallowed something that was now tickling his organs that now suddenly ripped one open and he puked out blood in pain and fell over dead, Popo laughed at Kirby's suffering, Nana laughed because Popo was laughing.

"LETS BRING IN THE CONTESTANTS!…" Master Hand yelled as a wall spun around bringing out Tealfrog and Numdenu.

"HAHA… HOW DO YOU FEEL BEING HERE…" Master Hand yelled as the two looked around confused.

"I was in the middle of fantasizing about Link again!" Numdenu cried as she pouted looking sour.

"I was in the middle of my happy time torture fests!…" Tealfrog whined already missing the strange pleasure of torture.

"WHATEVER YOU FREAKS!" Master Hand laughed and shot Tealfrog's head clean off as he fell to the ground.

"HEY!… WHY THE CRUD DID YOU DO THAT?" Numdenu yelled as the dead body started getting blood all over Numdenu's new Zelda dress.

"HE GOT THAT BECAUSE HE HELPED IN THE 'SAVE KIRBY PROGRAM'!" Master Hand yelled spitting on the already rotted corpse.

"Oh well… I'm going to fantasize about Link some more…" Numdenu said as she started looking off into blank space and sighed…

"SHUTUP!…" Master Hand yelled and suddenly became serious. "We are at the quick match round… we say a word and with the help of three of our panel… you come up with what you think is the most said match word!… THE FIRST THING IS… FAT BLANK!"

Nemdenu just stared into the distance and pointed at Popo first…

"Fat… Albert!" Popo said as Nana screamed.

"WHO'S FAT ALBERT!… IS THERE SOMETHING YOU NEED TO TELL ME!… ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR!… WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!… YOU SUCK… I HOPE YOU DIE!"

After this Numdenu just sighed and pointed at Gannondorf.

"FAT… COCKS!" Gannondorf yelled as everyone looked at him creeped out… they started groaning at the pain their minds had been submitted to.

Numdenu simply sighed and pointed at Mario who giggled.

"FAT… FAT-KINS DIET!" He yelled and then took Kirby's dead body and shoved it down his bong.

"WHAT DO YOU SAY NUMDENU!" Master Hand asked.

"I… think… Link…" Numdenu said as she started giggling in her creepy sounding dreamy state.

"LETS SEE WHAT THEY ARE THEN… OPEN THE CRAP!"

The third most answered one opened to reveal… Fat Cocks

"EWW!… WE HAVE A SICK DEMENTED AUDIENCE!… NEXT IS!"

The second most answered one opened to reveal… Fat Free

"HAHA… I LOVE LOVING LOVERS WITH LOTS OF LOVE!" Master Hand said

The first most answered one opened to reveal… Fat Link

"HEY WHAT THE… HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!" Master Hand yelled as Young Link went suspiciously walking by whistling and suspiciously took a bag of rupees from Numdenu and suspiciously tripped and impaled himself on one of the rupees very suspiciously… but as Numdenu screamed she fell asleep.

"WHATEVER… GUESS THIS ONE… MY BLANK!"

Numdenu was asleep so they drew straws… they landed on Nana… Gannondorf… and Mario.

"My Ass you aren't having an affair you son of a bitch Popo!… I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!" Nana screamed before Popo pulled out a hammer and crunched her face in… killing her instantly.

"My little baby slave!" Gannondorf said with a grin that seriously reached his eyes… thus causing his face to be ripped up and he fell over bloody and dead.

"MY… AHH!… LITTLE GREEN PEOPLE!… THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!… GET IT AWAY… NOO!…" and with this he stabbed himself with his bong and died… a very trippy death.

"HAHA… WHAT DO YOU PICK!…" Master Hand asked as he tried to rub chin hairs that were never there.

Numdenu was drooling on her desk as she moaned.

"Link… LINK… LIINNK!"

"Master Hand looked around in confusion… then the things started"

The third most answered one opened to reveal… My Mama

"PWND… IT'S A MY MOMA JOKE!" Master Hand started laughing and rolled on the floor… thus ending world hunger.

The second most answered one opened to reveal… My Little baby slave

"WHAT THE… EWW!" Master Hand clutched the side of what he thought was his head and was actually a little innocent baby and screamed… thus the baby died.

The first most answered one opened to reveal… My Link… LINK… LIINNK!

"OK… I AM SERIOUSLY GETTING SUSPICIOUS… WHAT THE CRUD!"

And with this Link went walking by suspiciously… then he stole Numdenu suspiciously… then he stabbed her suspiciously muttering something about not being a purple diapered fat girl with 57 nipples and then left… suspiciously.

"EITHER WAY… NOW I GET THE MONEY!" Master Hand yelled as Peach suddenly stood up in anger.

"HEY… I'M A PUNK!… I SHOULD BE USED!" she yelled bordering on tears.

"No… no you see… Punk music now can only be heard on commercials and in extremely sold out movies!"

"OH!… I'M OFF TO THE THEATRE!" Peach yelled but fell on herself crushing her skull into taffy… then Popo had a heart attack… then everyone died… including Link who died on the highway killing all poor people that ever lived…

"HAHA… I AM FAMOUS YET AGAIN!" Master Hand screamed as the screen faded out.

* * *

YAY!

Well now that poor people have all died… along with two really good authors… I guess its finally time for the KASH!

And I know A LOT of people who I would want to put in here… but I wont… the only reason I put those two in this is so I could get back at them for putting me in their stories… even though I requested it…

And I am not sorry if I offended anyone… at all…

And if you know about newgrounds yet… check out FOAMY!… if you want my specific favorite one of Foamy's things… check out "Foamy: Sitcom Silliness"… its his rant about crappy sitcoms and then suddenly he rants about yo mama jokes… and he makes some extremely creepy comments… just watch out on language… this guy likes to swear…

In current events I have my report card that no one cares about…

First period: World Civ… A+  
Second period: Seminary… N/A  
Third period: Comp. Programming 2... A+  
Fourth period: Geometry… A  
Fifth period: Cons. Health… B+  
Sixth period: English 10... B-  
Seventh period: Humanities… A+  
Eighth period: Biology… A

A+ Means I have extra credit in it...

I have Math homework to do now though… so goodbye… no one loves you…


	14. SIX DOLLAR PYRAMID!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part Foorbar… $6.00 Pyramid!**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything… I do have a book being published though (if you believed that… you are either way too gullible… or like me way too much)

Reviews: these people are not legal in 48 states now…

**Eternal Smasher**: Umm… English 10 stands for English for tenth graders… its normal… but next year I will take a Creative Writing thingy… then it will be sad… ALL HAIL KAZZJAFF… and seriously I want you to tell everyone you know about the Kazzjaff…

**razzkat**: HEY!… DON'T DO THAT CRAP AROUND HERE!… I'VE HAD ENOUGH CRAP STUCK IN MY EYE ALREADY!… and thanks for watching Foamy… your lord and master… and for some cool links… (idiot) YOU'RE SO SMART!

**Pirate Goddess chick**: YAY!… SPREAD THE WORD OF THE FOAMY!… YAY!…

**Bunny freak**: actually… I'm offended by bunnies… so I naturally snapped… (and actually it was a fake snap…) I don't get offended by people who like me… unless they know my middle name…

**Niyanna**: Umm… I'm scary… I scar little children whenever they look at me… BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!… the point is orange juice is not supposed to be used as an anti-bacterial injection…

**RoyalFanatic**: Um… why?… I updated yo mama… OHH!… ok whatever…

**The Yoshi Killing Yoshi**: Umm… only because you asked… but now I will only barely mention he's yours… maybe… OH FINE!… but only if you promise to add Bob the Builder in whatever you do next…

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

You all keep 5...

Well… At school yesterday… I tricked a friend of mine who was sluffing… into thinking I was in jail… I seriously got his entire family thinking I had been arrested during school… then I walked into his house later and asked him to hide me… he figured out by then we were tricking him… it was hilarious though…

And why do I get the feeling I've been arrested by the FBI and am now only doing what they want me to do

(Oh dear!)

Oh well… REEL BIG FISH! (I decided to go back to advertising the best band ever again)

And Peppy Ankylosaurus is not my creation… it is the creation of some freaky Yoshi killing yoshi… look up my reviews if you care enough to know who…

* * *

"YAY!… CHEER!… HAHA!… WOOT!… GO TO BED!… BLEH!… YAY AGAIN!" Crazy Hand cheered as the audience just cried… awaiting their inevitable doom.

Yoshi and Ness walked on stage… tomatoes were thrown… but missed horribly and the audience only hit itself… suffocating in the red-orange fluid… thus the prophecy was made true…

"YAY!… THESE TWO ARE THE CONTESTANTS!… AND NOW FOR THE… CELEBRITY… PEOPLE…"

Peppy Ankylosaurus ran on stage… along with Mewtwo…

"IT'S THE FREAKY ANKYLOSAURUS THAT NOBODY LOVES!… AND THEN IT'S THE FREAKY FLOATING CAT THAT NOBODY LOVES!"

Everyone on stage took a bow… then fell over.

"OH… AND THIS IS THE SIX DOLLAR PYRAMID!"

No one clapped because they were all dead… or sleeping inside of a toilet…

"OKAY!… UM!… PEPPY ANIKLEZIASTIC… JOIN WITH YOSHI!"

"YAY!" they both screamed in terrifying high pitched voices popping (and I mean literally popping) the ears of whatever was left that had a brain that was listening…

"AND… THE PSYCHIC PEOPLE… YOU CAN BE ON A TEAM TOO!"

The two looked at each other silently… but here is what went on in their brains…

Ness: _DUDE!… IM ON YOUR TEAM… AND YOU LIKE BOB THE BUILDER TOO?_

Mewtwo: _HECK YEA MAN!… BOB THE BUILDER PWNS!_

Ness: _YAY!… OF COURSE IT ALSO RULES TO PRETEND YOU NEVER TALK WHEN YOU REALLY ARE!_

Mewtwo: _YEA I KNOW!… YAY!_

Ness: _YAY!_

"OKAY… SIT DOWN AT A DESK AND PLAY THE GAME… YOU WILL TRY AND GET THE PERSON TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT WITHOUT USING A WORD INSIDE OF THE PHRASE… USING ONLY VERBAL CLUES!… GO!"

Yoshi and Peppy Albatross went first… Peppy was giving the clues to, Ugly.

"NESS!" Peppy screamed.

"UGLY!" Yoshi screamed at almost the same time… making people think bad thoughts… about bugs bunny…

"DING!" Crazy Hand screamed.

Next was Fat…

"MCDONALDS!" Peppy screamed.

"ATKINS OBSESSION!" Yoshi screamed.

"NO!" Peppy screamed.

By now all the screaming had caused Crazy Hand to fall over and start twitching.

"FAT!" Yoshi screamed causing Crazy Hand to twitch some more.

"DING!" Crazy Hand screamed.

Ness: _This screaming is hurting my brain!_

Mewtwo: _I Know!_

Ness: _YAY!_

Mewtwo: _YAY!_

The next word was Purple…

"DEAD BABIES!" Peppy screamed.

"I'M HUNGRY!" Yoshi cried as the thought of dead babies made him drool. Suddenly he looked at Peppy in a new light… he was hungry… and Peppy was food.

Peppy was also looking at Yoshi… wanting something to eat. Dead babies had driven him over the edge.

They both launched their tongues out at each other… the tongues wrapped around each other causing them to get stuck… then they ripped each others tongues out leaving a creepy red drippy mess in-between them.

"AWAWAWAWA!" Yoshi cried.

"AWAWAWAWA!" Peppy cried.

Sadly no one knows what that means… so no one came to their rescue… and they died in a pool of blood.

"YAY!… I'M GLAD THOSE TWO FREAKS WILL NEVER GET THE CHANCE TO SCREAM AROUND ME ANYMORE!"

So Ness and Mewtwo… reading Crazy Hand's mind before he could say it… walked/floated up to the desk by some cheap cardboard pyramid.

"OKAY… CLIMB THE PYRAMID MAKING A DOLLAR PER WORD YOU GET… AND IF YOU DO GOOD!… THEN YOU CAN EACH HAVE SIX DOLLARS!… YOU ONLY HAVE A MINUTE!" (which is in their world… enough to get half a gallon of gas.. Yes I am talking about a minute…)

"GO!" Crazy Hand screamed… causing himself to twitch.

Mewtwo: _Things The President would say…_

"THINGS THE PRESIDENT WOULD SAY!" Ness screamed.

Mewtwo: _Gay SSBM Characters_

"GAY SSBM CHARACTERS" Ness screamed again… Crazy Hand was going bloated from this.

Mewtwo: _Stupid FanFiction authors… Like joebthegreat…_

Ness: _Ooh I know…_

"STUPID FANFICTION AUTHORS!" Ness screamed.

Basically they cheated to get to the top on time… lets cut out what They psychically said so I don't take any more abuse…

"HIPPIE BANDS!" Ness yelled.

"THINGS YOU WOULD EXPECT AN ILLIGAL IMMIGRANT TO SAY!" Ness yelled again in less than 3 seconds.

"YO MAMA JOKES!" Ness yelled quickly after and he and Mewtwo jumped up and started dancing.

"HOW GREAT!… BUT THE FACT IS… NONE OF THOSE WERE ON THE CARDS!"

Ness: _WHAT?_

Mewtwo: _Um… Hehe… I'm Illiterate…_

Ness: _YOU SON OF A BITCH!_

With that… Ness pulled out a baseball bat and beat the life out of Mewtwo… then had a seizure and died.

"HAHA!… COME BACK NEXT TIME FOR MORE…" Crazy Hand started… but before he could finish a hole was blasted into the studio and a suicide bombing took place.

(At the news network)

"Greetings… Today a suicide bombing took place at SSBM Studios… one person was killed… the suicide bomber… everyone else was already dead… except for one man… or woman… no clue what it is… but that was only injured…"

(Back at the studio)

Crazy Hand was watching the TV that had this news on

"WAIT… HOW DID THE NEWS NETWORK KNOW THIS WHEN IT'S ONLY BEEN FOUR SECONDS!… AND WHY WAS I WATCHING TV FOUR SECONDS AFTER A BOMBING!… AND WHY DID THEY BOMB US!"

(we will never know…)

* * *

YAY!

Well I am proud to actually be updating my crap…

And now you get another look at my grades (because I am an obsessed freak with bragging…)

World Civ.: A

Seminary: N/A

Comp. Programming: A

Geometry: A

Cons. Health: B+

English 10: A

Humanities: B

Biology: A

R&SRAB… Read and Savagely Rape A Baby…

(EWW)


	15. JEOPARDY!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 15! Jeopardy!**

Disclaimer: Well… I don't own anything unless otherwise stated… speaking of that… lets otherwisely state!

I DO own: Kazzjaff, Blebildy, Joeban Mythology, half of my soul, and the name JoebTheGreat!

Reviews: I suggest you review… because the government is rounding up and killing everyone that doesn't

**Eternal Smasher**: actually… you were a baby seven times… I have it all recorded here in my history book… and don't ask why it looks like just a hastily thrown together blank book with sharpie scribbles all over it… this thing is more legitimate than McDonalds!

**razzkat**: Well… if your brain exploded then I can say whatever I want to say about you and you can't understand! Your mom didn't know you were born until she had already flushed! (ooh that's gotta sting on her part)

**niyanna**: HAHA! You're so sad even Fox is hating on you! Or is he… Either way I got a 3.904 GPA and you can't do a thing to stop me! Oh… except for pushing that red button… NO! STOP!… DON'T PUSH IT!… (bang… now my GPA is at a 0.000)

**RoyalFanatic**: Huh?… You should be shot because you're royalty! And because you stole the doughnut of the Kazzjaff! GET HIM!

**The Yoshi Killing Yoshi**: You shouldn't feel honored… your guy just got his tongue ripped out!… Man you have a weird sense of honor…

**uhyeahitsteamdark**: You rape babies too?… oh wait… I don't think it's a good thing to shout something like that in public… and… WAIT!… you're the king of Sonic fiction! GET BACK TO YOUR POST OH EXALTED ONE!… because we figure that by forcing you there… you wont mess with us anymore!… or will you… (dun dun dun!)

**Tealfrog26**: well a 3.904 is good enough for me! (stupid humanities class brought it down from a 4.0)… and you read the boxes wrong!… it's the fav's list that had hostages!… NOW HURRY UP AND PUT THIS AS YOUR ONLY FAVORITE STORY!… or did you… I don't even know which one is the second one…

**david**: well too bad… you don't get any dead babies!… well… maybe the ones you have in your hands already… THOSE DON'T COUNT!… now go to Wal-Mart if you want some dead babies! I hear they're having a sell…

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

You all keep 5...

Then you all lose your 5 in a tragic accident…

Oh no!… I think I just pooped all over my moms favorite dress!… oh look… yes I did… the brown marks are right there… oh dear… oh well…

REEL BIG FISH!

* * *

"HELLO! I'M SMARTER THAN CRAZY HAND!… SO I'M DOING TODAY'S GAME SHOW!… JEOPARDY!" Master Hand screamed as Jeopardy Music came on… killing everyone in sight…

Sadly no one was in sight… they were all hiding… so Jeopardy Music couldn't kill anyone…

As one boy lifted his head to see who was poking him with that sharpened stick… his head popped because he came into view… then his laughing father's head came up and that popped too… then his mother, with nothing left to live for, lifter her head up… She lived though because she's a nobody… not a somebody… so she cried and her tears healed the soul of the earth… and due to this a volcano erupted instantly and ended up killing her and ONLY her…

"HAHAHA!… THE CONTESTANTS ARE!…" Master Hand started…

Kirby walked on screen but his head popped (a.k.a. his whole self) because he came into view.

"HEY!… JEOPARDY MUSIC… STOP THAT!" Master Hand yelled… with this Jeopardy Music ran away crying…

Nana and Popo both walked on screen holding hands… connected at the… biceps?… that's… interesting… yeah… and Mario followed them on screen.

"WELCOME TO JEOPARDY! DO YOU ALL KNOW HOW TO PLAY? TOO BAD! LETS START THE GAME! THE CATIGORIES ARE!…" Master hand yelled as a screen behind him lit up showing 5 categories with 5 questions each.

"1. SMASH STATS!… 2. JUST PLAIN SEXY!… 3. COMPLETE LACK OF WOMEN!… 4. SWORDS PWN SOMETHING!… 4. WIRED!… 5. OLD SCHOOL!" Master hand yelled again and it seems he is loosing his voice to this excessive yelling… and the screen lit up with these things in place…

"NANA AND POPO… YOU ARE NOW ON TWO DIFFERENT TEAMS TO MAKE UP FOR THE LOSS OF WHATEVER THAT PINK THING WAS NAMED!…" Master hand coughed out in his raspy voice.

With this Nana and Popo glared at each other menacingly and then started hitting each other… then ripped apart and fell over in a bloody mass… dead… I hope… cause if not then that's gonna sting in the morning…

"MARIO!… YOU NEED TO SPLIT TO TAKE UP ALL THREE TEAMS!" Master Hand yelled as he suddenly got his voice back.

"O… kay… WHAT?" Mario yelled trying to figure out how this was possible…

"MARIO HAD NO CLUE WHAT TO DO! HE SUDDENLY EXPLODED INTO THREE CHUNKS OF FAT AND EACH ONE FLOATED TO A DIFFERENT POSITION!" Master Hand yelled fulfilling his long time dream of becoming a narrator.

"Why are you narrating me?" Mario asked… but suddenly Luigi's faded face came out of nowhere…

"Mario… use the force…" Luigi said as Mario looked into the distance dramatically. "HEY! Are you even paying attention!… LOOK AT ME!" Luigi screamed… but Mario just kept looking off into that distance. "Okay you know what? Screw this… screw the whole contract with Obi-Wan… SCREW IT!… I'm leaving!" And with this… Luigi's face faded away.

"HAHA!… MARIO!… YOU ARE THE WINNER!… THAT IS IF YOU CAN ANSWER THIS QUESTION CORRECTLY!… OR WHATEVER THE CRUD YOU SAY IT LIKE IN JEOPARDY… I'M NEW AT THIS!" Master Hand yelled… because you may not know he yelled it unless I constantly repeat that fact… "THE CONSOLE SSBM IS MADE FOR!"

Mario opened his mouth to blurt something out.

"NO!… YOU HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN FIRST… AND WAIT LIKE… ONE MINUTE… SO YEAH!"

Mario sat there as we listen to nothing… Jeopardy Music ran away and I don't think he's coming back…

(After about a minute)

Mario held up his poster… it read:

XBOX 360! PWNS! PWND! PWNAGE! THE PWNANATOR! PHAT YO! IM A GANGSTER NOW!… PWND!

"AND YOU GOT IT CORRECT!… YOU WIN THIS FREE HIGH POWERED EXPLOSIVE KIT!… GOOD FOR MESSING WITH THE CHILDREN!… OR THAT PESKY DOG IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD!" Master Hand yelled suddenly sounding like a narrator again.

Before Mario could do anything in the form of a celebration, Master Hands hand…ish expression changed to that of disappointment.

"NEVER MIND!… YOU FORGOT TO SAY WHAT IS! SO YOU LOSE!… HAHAHA!" Master Hand screamed… OH… you didn't see that coming now did you?

With this Mario screamed as his section of the floor disappeared and he fell to his doom.

"AND THAT'S THE END OF WHATEVER JUST HAPPENED!…" Master Hand began.

Suddenly Nana and Popo sat up and screamed in agony.

"HEY! IT ISNT MORNING YET! GET BACK TO BED!" Master Hand yelled pulling out a chainsaw and cutting them each in half… this ended in them falling asleep.

Then the whole crowd jumped to their feet and started cheering as the screen began to fade away… the Jeopardy Music came back on.

"YA.." the crowd began… but their heads all exploded with the return of Jeopardy Music… it was a sad sight…

"OKAY… **THAT **WAS THE END OF WHATEVER JUST HAPPENED!… GOOD… SOMETHING!"

And with this the screen faded away.

Then and explosion was heard as Mario's prize fell onto the stage… thus killing everyone in… Mexico?… I think that's where they told me they're doing this…

* * *

YAY!

Sorry if this wasn't as funny to you… I've been losing my touch due to my fake caring about the world for my teachers…

Oh but I still liked this so oh well…

NEWS:

Nobody cares about me?… oh well…

CLAYMATION:

That might start… maybe… we hope… but don't just go off and plan on it…

GOOD STORIES:

don't you know how to find your own good stories?… just look on my favorites list… some of them seem like they will never be updated though… so don't be surprised if you see one that is only one chapter long and hasn't gotten funny… I'm STILL waiting on those… and EVERYTHING in the fan fiction section is good… especially if its humor you want… because I am the ONLY humorous guy there so far…

NEWGROUNDS:

Look up -knox- if you want to… cause he has TONS of claymation… and they all RULE!…

Or look up Foamy… it seems his new stuff has had Germaine… yeah… I want more rants by Foamy! But it is still really good… SO SHUT UP YOU HATERS!… GO BURN IN HELL AND HATE ON THAT!

The front page has some stuff right now… and whatever… look up _attack of the black mages_… because the first and fifth one of that PWN!

R&LLL Read and Love Loopy Language… LIKE SHEGHASTIAN! (that is my FAVORITE language!)


	16. THE PATHETIC RACE!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 16! The Pathetic Race!**

Disclaimer: Well… you should have at least an IQ of 1... And that will be all you need to tell what is mine and what isn't!

Reviews: Isn't it pathetic… really… truly… pathetic that you think that I care… because I do… I slit my wrists whenever people don't review that I know should be reviewing…

Actually… I've already sent your stupid review responses… so good job!

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

No one gets to keep them because I want them!

Umm… good job… for reading… I guess… haha… IM A STRAIGHT A STUDENT!… and I am proof that anyone can get A's if they try… because I'm… weird…

REEL BIG FISH!

* * *

"YAY! HAHA! WOO! I JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON!" Crazy Hand screamed as he flew through the wall into the strangely cramped room. 

"HEE HEE!… MEET THE TEAMS… AND WHATEVER!"

Nana and… Bowser ran in as one team…

Popo and… Zelda ran in as another team…

Mario and… Mewtwo ran in as the third team…

Marth and… C. Falcon ran in as the fourth and final team…

"WOW!… THESE TEAMS ARE SO LOGICAL!" Crazy Hand yelled… crazily…

"What the hell am I doing away from Popo?" Nana screamed in horror… she had never been anywhere without Popo… whenever they were apart she tended to explode into a cloud of smoke. This led to quite a lot of legal issues, as well as an extremely painful experience. Nana just couldn't function when Popo was gone… she got in the fetal position and started sucking her thumb. Just then she exploded.

"AH NOT AGAIN!… ok that's it!" Popo then pulled out his cell phone and called his lawyer.

"Yeah… hi… it's me again… yeah she exploded for the third time today!… blah… yadda… legal stuff…" Popo said over the phone to his lawyer… even though his lawyer wasn't even talking.

"NANA AND BOWSER'S TEAM IS DISQUALIFIED DUE TO DEATH!" Crazy Hand screamed and pulled a lever launching Bowser into the sun…

Popo figured out that his lawyer wasn't listening… So he hung up on him and called _Bob's Slave Shack_ to see if there were any Eskimo midget women he could buy.

"OKAY!… THIS IS A RACE TO SEE WHO CAN GET TO UTAH FIRST!… WITHOUT USING ANY FORM OF AIRPLANES OR TRAINS OR CARS OR BOATS OR MAGIC OR TELEPORTATION!" Crazy Hand yelled, "YOU WILL FIND YOUR NEXT CLUE THE MINUTE YOU ENTER THE STATE!"

"Oh that wont be too hard… SEEING AS HOW WE ARE ALREADY IN UTAH!" C. Falcon screamed. And the cramped room was, in fact, in Utah.

"CONGRATULATIONS! POPO AND ZELDA WAS THE SLOWEST TEAM TO GET HERE THIS TIME SO THEY GET ELIMINATED FIRST!" Crazy hand screamed.

Before Popo or Zelda had time to protest, the floor under them gave way and they fell into a huge blender.

"UMM… NOW YOU GUYS NEED TO MAKE YOUR WAY TO CHINA WITHOUT CROSSING AN OCEAN!" Crazy Hand screamed… his voice box (located in the middle of his middle finger) exploded after this, so he was forced to use sign language.

Marth and C. Falcon, and Mario and Mewtwo looked around in confusion… there was no way to China without crossing an ocean!

Suddenly Marth got a thought in his mind… a brilliant thought… he was surprised he hadn't thought of it sooner… it was all so simple now… he could just kill Link and rape Zelda… that was the way!

Of course seeing as how Marth wasn't thinking of what the other three were thinking of… we will now have to disregard his insane mind's thoughts.

"I'VE-A GOT-A IT-A!" Mario yelled and proceeded to tell Mewtwo 'it'.

"With that Mewtwo transported Mario through the earth and into China" Mewtwo said.

"What-a the-a hell-a are-a you-a say-a-ing-a-a!" Mario said.

"Oh… sorry… sometimes I get so caught up in the moment that I forget to actually do it and end up saying it instead…" said Mewtwo

Of course… C. Falcon had heard this discussion… so he picked Marth up (seeing as how Marth was too busy thinking about Zelda to move his legs) and ran towards China going OVER the Ocean… but was very nice to the ocean so he didn't end up _crossing_ it.

"TRANSPORT!" yelled Mewtwo, "AH I DID IT AGAIN!"

"STOP-A DOING-A THAT-A!" Mario cried.

"WELL MAYBE IF YOU WOULD TAKE ALL THOSE ANOYING -A'S OUT OF YOUR SENTENCE I COULD CONCENTRATE!" Mewtwo yelled.

C. Falcon was only 1000 miles to China now… and he was running at 500 miles a second.

Mewtwo began transporting with Mario… they were on there way straight to China.

"WHAT-A DO-A YOU-A MEAN-A TAKE-A THE-A -A'S-A OUT-A OF-A MY-A SENTANCES-A" Mario screamed, breaking Mewtwo's concentration causing their heads to go flying to China and nothing else… they died…

C. Falcon and Marth were in China, Marth was crying from the effects of not being with Zelda, Crazy Hand forgot we were doing a game show and went home.

"Umm… what do we do now…" C. Falcon asked.

"ZELDA!" Marth screamed.

"OKAY!" C. Falcon yelled. They both ran off to go do Zelda.

---------------------------------------

(With Crazy Hand)

"HI MASTER HAND! HAHA!" Crazy Hand screamed breaking through the wall and Master Hands girlfriend, French Hand.

"YOU JUST KILLED MY GIRLFRIEND!" Master Hand screamed.

"WHO CARES!" Crazy Hand retorted.

"DON'T YOU HAVE A GAME SHOW TO BE HOSTING?" Master Hand yelled.

"WHO CARES!" Crazy Hand retorted.

"DIDN'T THIS STORY SAY THAT YOU HAD LOST YOUR VOICE BOX?" Master Hand shouted.

"IT LIED!" Crazy Hand retorted.

"AREN'T YOU AT LEAST A BIT SUSPICIOUS THAT I KNEW WHAT THE NARRATIVE SAID?" Master Hand bellowed.

"NOT REALLY!" Crazy Hand retorted.

"JUST GO FINISH THE GAME SHOW ALREADY YOU FREAK!" Master Hand hollered.

"OKAY THEN!" Crazy Hand retorted.

---------------------------------------

(At Zelda's house)

Marth and C. Falcon were in a battle with Link over who could rape Zelda… Zelda was just watching them fight in interest… suddenly the Bird Flu came and killed them all.

Crazy Hand broke through the wall to see the dead Smashers all laying there… then he caught the Bird Flu and died…

Then the whole world died because Global Warming mixed with the Bird Flu and made everyone with the Bird Flu turn into Zombies and then melt.

* * *

YAY! 

Well now we know… that we are all screwed… I MEAN IT!… IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!11!1oneoneelevenone

R&R Read and Reggae


	17. LINGO!

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part 16! Lingo!**

Disclaimer: I don't own these game shows or SSBM or fan fiction or a brain… but I keep on trying…

Reviews: I feel sad when you don't review… that will be all…

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 5...

You can all keep 10 percent…

Ok then… I've had the worst Christmas vacation you could ever dream of… every minute of it sucked, with few exceptions… I always hate this time of year… cant wait until summer comes and I can stay up all night and do nothing but fan fiction… until then… censor the next hour of typing

REEL BIG FISH! (the only reason I'm not in a mental hospital right now for having raped a baby… seriously… they walked up to me and possessed me… and told me not to… cause I was like… doing it… and stuff… and they were like… "stop it"… and stuff…)

* * *

"HAHA! WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF SPORTS! I'M MASTER HAND! AND YOU ARE A MERE SLAVE TO MY POWERS!" Master Hand screamed as he blasted in through the roof screaming.

The audience tried to applaud until they realized that their hands had been ripped off and sent to the ugly people's relief fund.

"NO!OOOO!O!OOOO!OOOO!OOO!O!OOOO!" They screamed.

"HAHA!… THAT'S RIGHT! UGLY PEOPLE DON'T HAVE FEELINGS! BUT IT'S FUN TO PRETEND! SO LETS ALL GET TOGETHER AND DO… STUFF!" Master hand screamed again.

With this Mr. G&W and Yoshi came through the door/hole/bum bum that was in the wall and went to their podium… thing… Pichu and Jigglypuff came in after them and went to the other podium… thing…

"WHATEVER WE DO NEXT!… DO IT!" Master Hand yelled as the crowd cheered… but was then crushed as a giant blue ball with the letter 'Z' on it came and killed them all.

"HAHA! THIS PROVES MY DREAMS TRUE!" Master Hand screamed and started slitting his wrist… somehow…

The blood from Master Hand's now slit…ed… wrists spewed all over the room and ended up drowning a little child…

"HAHA!" Master Hand screamed again. "Okay then! Enough of that! WHAT'S THE FIRST WORD TEAM #1?)

"Bleep" Mr. G&W said.

"Yoshi!" Yoshi said.

"WELL YOU'RE BOTH WRONG! WHAT ABOUT YOU TEAM #2?" Master Hand screamed… cause he felt like screaming… the world had caused him pain… he was sad… then he wasn't…. oh now he's sad again… nope not anymore… ok now he's sad… sheesh talk about bipolar!

"PICHU!" Pichu yelled.

"JIGGY!" Jigglypuff yelled _after_ Pichu, not beforehand…

"YOU GUYS ARE WRONG TOO! I GUESS THAT TAKES US TO THE HAPPY ROUND!" Master Hand screamed… "OH! AND THE WORD WAS 'QUITE' JUST SO YOU KNOW!"

With this the Spanish Inquisition broke through the wall and arrested some guy in the audience named 'C. Falcon'… apparently… he was too ugly and needed God's power to fix his face…

"WOW! THAT'S PROOF THAT WATCHING TOO MUCH MTV CAN HAVE HARMFUL EFFECTS!" _some guy in the audience_ screamed…

"THAT WAS MY LINE!" Master Hand cowered… then screamed and ate the man in the audience… then ate the audience like popcorn flavored ice cream…

With this The Used ran in and cut there wrists while screaming as the ghosts of the audience did a mosh pit… then all got tired and died… again…

The sweat that this mosh pit made caused such a stench… that Mr. G&W got a stuffy nose… this caused his nose to become 3-D… this then caused him to explode in a dimensional warp of space and time… this only killed Mr. G&W though…

"HAHA! YOSHI… YOUR TEAM LOSES! YOU HAVE TO GO HOME NOW!"

With this Yoshi looked down in sorrow… then used his tongue like a hook-shot and launched himself out of the room… had he known this was just one room floating at about 1257458 stories above ground he might have reconsidered this type of an exit… he melted in the atmosphere as he fell to earth…

"HAHA! OK TEAM 2! YOU GUYS HAVE TWO MINUTES TO GUESS THE FIVE LETTERS TO THIS NEXT WORD! IF YOU GET IT RIGHT… YOU GET TO LIVE!" Master Hand yelled as Pichu and Jigglypuff looked at each other with a mix of love/shock/anger/hate/eww/lust/joy/ugly

"STOP LOOKING THAT WAY… YOU'VE ALREADY WASTED HALF OF THE FIRST MINUTE!" Master Hand bawled.

With determination in his eye… Pichu made the first guess…

"PI!" Pichu said.

"UMM… PEE ISN'T A LETTER YOU PIECE OF SHIZAM!" Master Hand yelled, proud of his ability to edit swear words…

"JIG!" Jigglypuff yelled.

"UMM… JIG ISN'T A LETTER EITHER YOU NOOB!" Master Hand yelled, proud of his ability to make people feel bad about themselves…

"CHU!" Pichu yelled.

"CHOO ISNT A LETTER! DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW ENGLISH!" Master Hand screamed… both of the pokemon immediately shook their heads in disagreement/sexual innuendo

"WELL! IN THAT CASE… YOU LOSE!" Master Hand screamed and poked Pichu in the neck… snapping it clean off… his head was still attached though… only his neck was missing…

Then Master Hand tried to kick Jigglypuff but missed horribly (because he has no legs) and therefore flew out of the room.

"WOW! IF I COULDN'T FLY! I'D BE DEAD RIGHT NOW!" Master Hand screamed…

With this the ghosts of the ghosts of the audience killed Pichu and Jigglypuff for walking all over their graveyard… then founded a casino… then got rich… Master Hand then sued these ghostly ghosts and got all of their money… this caused the curse of Kazzjaff to be released… the ghostly ghosts then died…

"WOW! THAT ALL TOOK PLACE IN ABOUT 12 SECONDS!" Master Hand yelled in amazement before suddenly falling over and breaking his hip… ok fine it wasn't really his… he was 'borrowing' it from some old guy… but what's the difference?

"OW! OK THEN! THANKS FOR WATCHING! COME BACK NEXT TIME TO WATCH ME GET SAVAGELY BEATEN BY A NATIVE AMERICAN TRIBE AFTER I FRY THEIR CHIEF FOR DINNER!" Master Hand said in pain as he tried to get this story past the thousand word mark.

"I DID IT!" Master Hand cried as a crowd of supportive people came and congratulated him… but misspelled glide somehow and were then murdered by Master Hand because this was still a game of Lingo…

"I WIN!" Master Hand said…

Then I decided to stop ranting…

* * *

YAY!

It's been close to a whole month since I last updated anything… so you should be happy I finally came back and did it!

don't blame school for my absence though… school was the easy part… blame family and friends for forcing me to have a life over the past month… I know I know… it's terrible…

GRADES:

I got a 4.0 this term… how's that for grades!

UGLY METER:

I've become quite the ugly person this term… I killed twenty people just by looking at them!

R&R! Read and Rape… or Read and Roast… or Read and Review… or Rest and Relaxation…


	18. TRUTH OR DARE! ending

**SSBM GAME SHOWS!**

**Part something! Truth or Dare!**

Disclaimer: I don't own these game shows or SSBM or fan fiction or a brain… but I keep on trying…

Reviews: Something should go here!

GOLD STARS:

You all start with 155

You can all keep however many you can eat without vomiting…

My SSBM ADVERTISEMENTS story has been deleted… I always thought of that story as this story's brother… and my like… crowning success… I'm pissed off at that… fortunately I've gotten a new REEL BIG FISH CD… it is better/more hateful/more offensive/AWSOME!

I have recently experienced a very hateful mood… which is good… that's what brought me to this website in the first place… so prepare for some offensive behavior!

REEL BIG FISH! _YOU DON'T KNOW_ ("if you don't get it then why don't you go shove your head back up your ass!")

* * *

"I LOVE ORANGE PEOPLE!" Crazy Hand screamed whilst charging through the door and into the large cardboard box where this event was taking place. 

"Woa…" Marth said walking in in amazement.

But just then Crazy Hand _somehow_ farted and blew Marth's head off in the historic event.

"HAHAHA! TIME FOR US TO MEET OUR CONTESTANTS!" Crazy Hand screamed and pointed to the professional narrator, since he was the professional narrator his finger snapped off in the attempt.

"OWWW… OH WELL… LETS GET ON WITH THIS THEN… THE CONTESTANTS ARE!" Crazy Hand then paused to build up suspense.

An audience would have done something random and equally funny, but the death of all the other audiences had caused people to think twice before going to a game show… they used to _not_ think… so now that people had brains they:

didn't go to game shows  
didn't vote for democrats  
didn't buy Microsoft products  
didn't eat at McDonalds  
didn't read joebthegreat's stories  
didn't read Shakespeare (who is almost as bad at writing as joebthegreat)  
And as for the British… well… they couldn't stand whilst thinking… so they all died…

"I MISS MY AUDIENCE!" Crazy Hand screamed… in… screamyness… he couldn't scream in sorrow because he wasn't that good at using grammar…

With this the contestants got sick of being unnamed and jumped out to introduce themselves…

"HI! I'm Roy, I enjoy people who think I'm hot… and… and… hot people… and… well… yeah!" Marth's dead corpse farted out these words… then Roy came out of nowhere and said the same thing… thus making you no longer confused at this big blob of words…

"HI! I'm Mario… I'm the leader of Nintendo!" Luigi, who was oddly dressed up in all red and had Mario's hat on, said.

"HI! I'm Luigi… I'm a nobody who sits in Mario's shadow and is popular simply because of that fact!" Mario, who was oddly dressed up in green and wearing Marth's stinky tiara said.

Because of this confusion… we will now call the Luigi that wants to be Mario: Luario

And in order to be fair… we will now call the Mario that wants to be Luigi: Marigi

We will go further… we will now call Pikachu: Faggot

"HEY!" Pikachu screamed before getting raped by a golf cart… oh my…

So… Marth's dead corpse, Roy, Mario, Luigi, Pikachu, and a golf cart were the contestants…

"OK!… WE'RE GONNA PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!… then we will listen to a thought provoking speech by President George W. Frosty!" Crazy Hand screamed as everyone nodded in delight at the thought of that wonderfully great George W. Frosty coming to talk to them.

So Marth's dead corpse was the first to go…

"…" Marth's corpsesaid.

"HAHA! YOU LOSE!" Crazy Hand said and opened the trap door, sending Marth's dead corpse to Vegas, where it got a successful job as a stripper.

Next was Roy…

"Truth…" Roy said bravely.

"Who do you have a crush on?" Pikachu asked whilst giggling uncontrollably.

"umm… DARE!" Roy said in a panic… he didn't want anyone to know of his true love…

"OK then! I dare you to tell us your secret crush!" Pikachu said as he giggled more… then got a hernia and stopped.

"umm… NO!" Roy said like the sexy rebel he is.

"YOU LOSE!" Crazy Hand yelled and pulled another lever… it didn't do anything… so Crazy Hand went to plan B and ripped the lever out and then savagely beat Roy with it… then shot him… then went to Disney World…

Next up went Luario…

"DARE!" Luario said triumphantly…

"I dare you to shoot yourself in the foot!" Marigi said…

So Luario shot himself in the foot, sadly he stores his brain in his foot, so he died…

Then Marigi went next…

"I'll take a TRUTH!" Marigi said as Pikachu giggled his hernia into full blown AIDS…

"Have you ever eaten a pop tart!" Pikachu screamed giggling until his bum bum ate the rest of his body… then exploded…

"um… um… yes…" Marigi said looking down in shame…

"OH… I'm SORRY MAN… THAT'S GOT TO BE A MAJOR BLOW TO YOUR PRIDE…" Crazy Hand said patting Marigi on the back… causing him to fly through the cardboard box and into the busy street outside… then two motorcyclists drove by as one picked Marigi up and used him to spoke jam the other cyclist… Marigi didn't survive this tragic event… butothers can… if you donate to the "people who are used as weapons to spoke jam other people in biking races" fund…

"WOW! WELL I GUESS THAT MAKES THIS GOLF CART THE WINNER!" Crazy Hand said… but just then… West Coast Customs came in and tried to pimp out the ride… they got half way done taking the engine out when they got bored and just left… then the Golf Cart popped… not exploded… but popped…

"WOW! LIFE SUCKS NOW! ME AND MASTER HAND ARE NOW GOING TO BE EMO!" Crazy Hand said…

Then Master Hand ran out… gave Crazy Hand a knife, pulled his own knife out, and the two proceeded in slitting each other's wrists… then they sat there crying… then they realized that people hated EMO now so they went to the new big trend… anti EMO…

"dude… I know we were at that… stupid… stage once… but now EMO is soooo stupid…" Master Hand said trying to look cool.

"I know… EMO is almost as lame as… skating is…" Crazy Hand said…

Then all the gamers came in with their computerized sluts and tried to make out with them… but that requires work… so they decided they would rather not…

Then a horde of 457,632,784,634 illegal immigrants charged in and ate the entire population of the U.S.A. but this game is based in Japan… so no one important was affected…

But then… ANIME turned out to be BASED in Japan… so Crazy Hand and Master Hand killed themselves… and the gamers were happy that they had ended up in Japan somehow… but in their geeky glory ended up exploding…

* * *

YAY!

Game over… that's the end of this story… I have other things I need to work on before I keep going with my Fan Fiction career… sorry… this is a bad month…

But hey… life is fun…

I'd like to say this: I am no longer a gamer (I used to be though)… gaming is not going to be a part of me until I graduate High School… then I plan on making video games… after some time in the military… why the military?… because America is stupid… and I am stupid… and so I think it's my duty to protect my kind of people…

I'd also like you to know… that I have absolutely no problem with EMO… it used to be trendy… but now it's trendy to call EMO trendy… so I have to find a new hobby that isn't trendy… like fan fiction!

Also know that if it is ever trendy to hate anime… I will start watching it 24/7


End file.
